saw friend's husband on tinder WWYD

[tindertrouble]

nc for this.
Am single and on tinder, just saw friend's h It is the second friend's dh I've seen on it. The first, I wasn't sure if they could be in an open marriage or she might know, and decided not to tell.
This one is a dearer longstanding friend although we live a distance apart and I don't see her that often. We text a lot and I consider her to be a good friend we go back a long way.
She's been married a long time 15 yrs plus. No dcs.
I don't know what to do. I wish I could unsee it.
I don't know if she'd want to know. I was cheated on and am quite glad I found out in my own time iyswim. Also, I know some people just go on tinder for a nosey and don't meet anyone off it. Is it seen as 'less bad' than a dating website? maybe. Really don;t know what to do (or whether to do nothing)

Tell her before someone else does, if you've found him it won't be long before someone else does. I'd suggest not face to face, as someone who's been told this exact thing "I saw your boyfriend on tinder how come he has it?"...and it was very hard to stop my face showing the fact that the world had just fallen out of my arse and frankly, i felt very embarrassed. But I was very glad id been told!

And get evidence before he backtracks and deletes his account, and turns you into a liar

I would want to know, 100%.

I'd go with what ZBWRDSM says.

Haven't RTWT (sorry) but this happen and e to me! Saw a close friends partner (who I don't think very much of..) so I screenshot it and showed her - she didn't believe it! Thought he had been hacked.. I think deep down she knows it is him and did confront him, but chose the 'easy option' to believe and stay with him.

I think you definitely need to show her, offer support, and not necessarily expect her to react the way you think she might. I'm not sure how I would react if confronted with this!

If a friend of mine knew this about a DP or DH being on Tinder, and it came out eventually that they knew, I don't think I could forgive them tbh OP. He is humiliating her and she doesn't even know it I think you should definitely tell her

Just returning to update and to thank everyone for all the good advice I've had from this thread it really helped me to make my mind up.
I texted her and sent a screenshot. Having thought it over I was prepared to 'get shot as the messenger' for the sake of giving her knowledge and options and doing the right thing. It wasn't like that though, she thanked me for letting her know.
If I was faced with the same situation again I'd do the same thing. I think anonymously would freak me out a bit if I were on the receiving end and I'd suspect everyone that I knew knew, so that wasn't an option. Having some evidence eg a screenshot is important I think. I don't know what she'll do next. Sympathies to everyone else in this position, it's easy to say you'd tell someone but harder to do in reality. Thanks again.

Thanks for updating us. So glad you've told her and she took it ok. Well done for doing the right thing.

I'd keep my nose out!

Sorry just read the update!

You did the right thing OP.

Well done! X

Well done.

I'd want to know if it were my DH. I wouldn't care if I was told anonymously and I might actually prefer it.

As long as I have the facts I can take it from there.

I also need advice, my partner of 3yrs has been on plenty of fish searching for men and women and also on cottaging.co.uk looking for men to have casual sex with, I don't know what to do, sex went sour end of 2016, we havent even sleept in the same bed for months ( he says I snore ), he denies joining these sites saying someone has used his email address. But i found a mobile phone i have never seen before with the cottaging web site still signed in. He swears he loves me and woukd never do anything to hurt me, i can honestly say i have never felt so sad, was he just looking or was/has he been meeting ppl, he swears he is not into men or any other women, I can not talk about this with anyone, don't know what to do, grrrrrr bloody men, am I stupid to half believe him

Screen shot what you have seen and send it to her. That way, he can not manipulate the situation.

A friend sent me a screenshot of my ex husband on Tinder. I was so grateful.

@Sion4321

This is an old thread, you would be better off starting a new one for help with your problem.

Seriously, it's none of your business.

What a great friend you are User You'd seriously not tell your best friend that her DH was on Tinder as it was none of your business? Nice one.

Oh and you've got ten number after your user name. Ya know the same as the foreign Twitter trolls. So come on then, if you're from the UK tell me the name that us in the UK call Leeds, which isn't Leeds....

What are you talking about? Leeds? Not everyone who gives a different opinion is a troll.

I've said it's none of her business. I believe that. She knows nothing about the situation other than her friends partner was on tinder. I'm assuming she knows nothing of their intimate relationship or their intimate life together. It's none of her business. She didn't see him feeling up a woman in the local night club, she saw a profile on a dating site. None of her business.