I've posted a bit on here in recent weeks, and thanks to all the lovely people that took the time to reply.
In short: met an absolutely lovely guy OLD. It was set out from the get-go that it's not gonna be a long-term thing. But we got close. I think.
I started to fall for him. I think he's a really special person.
I started to stress, and broke up with him a couple of weeks ago to preserve myself. I'm too old and have too much shit on my plate to have to deal with a broken heart as well. He's 14 years younger, but I never (rarely) felt the gap.
I miss him so badly. Really, really badly.
Along with that, I'm worried about him, and feel a need to know that he's ok. He'd been alone for a long time before we got together, he's resigned himself to being alone all his life.
This is driving me around the twist.
I'm so angry that I'd made this big "mature" decision, but why the hell do I feel so fucking shit??! Where's the relief? The sense that I'm an adult that made a considered choice? I am struggling. Big time.
I've deleted his number, I can't contact him unless I were to email his work or publicly via Twitter.
If you've read this far - thank you and 
- you deserve it. But if anyone can help me make sense of this, I'd be very glad.
Ps yes I'm seeing a counsellor and yes I'm also dealing with a marriage breakup. #funtimes