My Lifetraps/schema therapy - is there any hope for me?

[Horehound]

I have just taken an online test and these are my results.

Am I a lost cause? I don't know how to help myself.
I do have a book about these lifetraps too, haven't picked it up in a while.

Lifetrap Strength
Unrelenting standards - very strong
Emotional deprivation - very strong
Social isolation - very strong
Abuse - very strong
Vulnerablity - very strong
Abandonment - strong
Enmeshment - strong
Approval seeking - strong
Pessimism - strong
Defectiveness - strong
Punitiveness - strong
Subjugation - strong
Insufficient self-control - medium
Failure - medium
Dependence - medium
Emotional inhibation - medium
Self-sacrifice - medium
Entitlement - medium

This morning I woke up with a complete "self destruct" feeling. I don't understand myself sometimes. If you met me you'd think I was very confident and outgoing :(

What do you know about this "Life trap" model and why did you take the test?

I just did that test after reading your OP and to be honest the "results" are the most miserably negative interpretation of some incredibly simplistic questions.
That doesn't surprise me - I saw a therapist for CBT and for some reason she wanted me to have schema therapy instead. I didn't like the sound of it at all and proceeded with the CBT but she was stuck in the mindset of wanting to "unpick" me so I stopped after a few sessions as the whole thing actually felt insulting.

Well, my cousin had a counsellor and had schema therapy as well as the talking sessions he gave her a book on these lifetraps. She told me to get it to as we have similar issues. I started on it doing the tests on the book - the same results in my OP as in the book.
My cousin did say you are supposed to do the book along with counselling but i can't afford it right now and my Dr fobbed me off.

I definitely have abandonment issues, emotional deprivation and unrelenting standards is me to a T.

I think the whole premise of talking therapies is that there are therapeutic relationships created. Is it possible to tackle these things on your own? I would have a look at accessing therapy - through your GP, workplace, university etc.

I must say that this life trap model seems very negative, even the name "trap". Most counselling models see the helpful and unhelpful in things.

I probably could have got something through work but I am leaving here on Friday and chaning jobs to a contract for now so prob won't manage to get anything through my new employer yet.

Migh thave to go back to GP.

I just think "why do I have these issues, and yet everyone else has no problems"? My partner is so laid back and happy and I am a big ball of anxious worry.

I am so tired.

I just think "why do I have these issues, and yet everyone else has no problems"? My partner is so laid back and happy and I am a big ball of anxious worry.

Everybody has issues, everybody has problems. It's a bit grandiose to believe that you're the only one who has, isn't it?

So, what I was saying about good and bad in everything - your partner is laid back and happy which looks good, but there's a downside to that. Perhaps he doesn't achieve what he might if he had a bit more drive, perhaps him being laid back means others have to pick up the stress?

Probably but is he worried about that? Probably not.

It's a bit grandiose to believe that you're the only one who has, isn't it?
Entitlement - medium !

Well, my parents, brother, friends, and partner all say I worry too much. that I need to calm down.
When things are not in my control I fall apart really. I can't stand it.

I too like to be in control and find that mindfulness has really helped with (mild) anxiety around this.

I have downloaded the Headspace app and have used it twice. I did enjoy it but sometimes i forget to be mindful!
I think I will subscribe to the thing, maybe if I pay money to it, it will make me eager to use it more.

I haven't subscribed to Headspace because it seemed a bit pricey and there's enough free stuff out there. I know what you mean about forgetting though, and used the Lotus Bud app to send me intermittent reminders.

I ignore reminders on Duolingo so I am sure I'd ignore them on any other app too. Need motivation. urgh

I also thought for the price of Headspace it is probably worth it if I don't need to spend money to see a therapist!

Well, to be honest, my experience of mindfulness is that it does require commitment and practice. I didn't get in to it the first two times I half-heartedly tried. So it was over a year and a third try that I "got it".

Don't dismiss therapy. I found it a life saver.

I have had quite a lot of CBT. I just took that test and came out no firetrap in most areas. Few years ago would have had your list. Do try to get some counselling. Its no way to live.