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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

is he entitled to anything?

85 replies

RebelRobin · 01/08/2016 21:22

My sisters boyfriend (no kids involved) has left their home. His name wasn't on the mortgage but he paid bills etc through direct debit. His name is on the electoral role and has been for at least 10 years. He now wants his share out of the house, but she says he isnt entitled to anything as his name wasnt on the mortgage. Where do they both stand on this? Can anyone advise? He basically has nowhere to live now and is sofa surfing at friends.

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 02/08/2016 09:11

When you say he paid half of the bills, do you mean the electricity etc or repair work, too? W
ho paid for decorating? Did he pay any rent?

LobsterQuadrille · 02/08/2016 09:15

In your OP you say that your sister's boyfriend has left the home so I assume that the split was initiated by him? In that case I can have some sympathy with your sister, if she's dealing with the end of her relationship and this is an angle that legally she may carry the upper hand and perhaps he's not entitled to much. However, with the renovations, choosing the house, contributions to bills plus mortgage - it sounds as if he should be morally (and possibly legally) entitled to some share of the house (was the initial deposit shared between them too, and can he prove this from bank statements?) - she needs to take legal advice at the outset. Agree with a PP that family should keep out of it.

rollonthesummer · 02/08/2016 09:18

So, he wanted her name on the mortgage- so she would solely bear any risk if anything goes wrong, but now wants his share??

All sounds very dodgy to me.

TheNaze73 · 02/08/2016 09:18

Well said nell was just thinking that.

StepAwayFromTheThesaurus · 02/08/2016 09:23

He didn't put his name on the mortgage/deeds to prevent his ex wife having a claim. So he knew what he was doing. It suited him to have no claim to the house, but now it would suit him to have a claim to it. He can't have it both ways.

The fact is, he's been foolish.

He might not be benefitting now but your sister did take on all the risk. If it had all gone horribly financially, she'd be liable not him. He could just have walked away. And now he has, but wants to claim on the house.

There is no such thing as 'living like man and wife'. You either get married or you don't. They haven't and he also didn't look to secure an interest in the property either.

StepAwayFromTheThesaurus · 02/08/2016 09:26

Nell: I'd give the same advice to a woman.

People (of both sexes) do need to take reasonable steps to protect themselves. If you aren't married and don't take on liability for a mortgage, then you gave to accept that it will be your partner's house not yours.

attsca · 02/08/2016 09:26

Well he is entitled to something, morally definitely, legally probably.

MorrisZapp · 02/08/2016 09:26

These answers sound sexist to me. For various reasons that were sensible at the time, my name isn't on our mortgage or house deeds. We're not married. We bought the place together, did it up together, I pay half of everything including mortgage and improvements. In a few years the mortgage will be paid off.

If I was to split with DP, I'd expect half the value of our home, and DP agrees because he's not an utter arse.

Why does your sister think he deserves nothing? What is her actual reasoning?

Rangirl · 02/08/2016 09:29

In Scotland he would have a claim Just in case anyone in Scotland is in a similar position Don't know legal position in England but would suggest legal advice is taken

Letseatgrandma · 02/08/2016 09:29

He didn't put his name on the mortgage/deeds to prevent his ex wife having a claim. So he knew what he was doing. It suited him to have no claim to the house, but now it would suit him to have a claim to it. He can't have it both ways.

Totally agree

rollonthesummer · 02/08/2016 09:31

Why would he think he can have no financial risk or responsibility with a property, yet expect a claim to it?!

Bottomchops · 02/08/2016 09:34

He's entitled to nothing. Let him chance his arm. Don't give him anything; you need that money for your dc. He knew what he was doing. Don't even sweat it.

MorrisZapp · 02/08/2016 09:40

What an utterly depressing thread.

BumbleNova · 02/08/2016 09:43

morriszapp its not sexist, its how the law works. if you dont like it, you need to make alternative arrangements such as a contract between you to clarify the situation. you are very trusting - you legally dont have a leg to stand on. its archaic and unfair but since they were not married and he was not on the deeds, he has no rights. end of.

BumbleNova · 02/08/2016 09:44

its depressing yes - that people have no understanding of something so basic and hugely important.

attsca · 02/08/2016 09:45

Morris, your post worries me, you assume that any split with your partner would involve good will on his part.

Life happens and people change, more than you can ever imagine.

EeksyPeeksy · 02/08/2016 09:46

I'm about to enter into the same type of situation for various reasons. But we are about to have a child, will be changing to a joint bank account, are planning to marry and looking at a legal agreement. However in Scotland I would have a claim according to the solicitor I spoke to even without a legal agreement.

He contributed IMHO he should be entitled to something. What that is would depend on the level of contribution.

Letseatgrandma · 02/08/2016 09:47

I don't think it's depressing at all.

I think it just highlights how important it is to protect yourself financially.

I have a close friend who wasn't on the mortgage-she swore, as you did, that her DH would give her half if anything happened. When he started seeing someone at work and wanted a divorce-he forgot ever saying that. If was messy and complicated and she would never advise anyone to put themselves in that situation.

1weekdown5togo · 02/08/2016 09:47

I know someone who was in this position. They lived together for 10 years in her house and he contributed to the mortgage and bills by giving her money every month. He also decorated and did up the garden. When they split up the legal advice was ask her for a fair payout/sum of money, she refused and the solicitor said he could take it to court but he would risk getting nothing anyway. So he came away with zilch.

I think that's the risk you take in that setup.

Paddingtonthebear · 02/08/2016 09:50

This happened to someone I know. Together years, house in her name only, no kids, not married. He proved he had made contributions to the running of the house, it went to court and she ended up handing over about £20k to him.

So basically, if you think they are not entitled because you aren't married and the house is in your name, be very careful!!

rollonthesummer · 02/08/2016 09:58

These messages seem to be suggesting that it's not straightforward. He may be able to take her to court (at his own expense) and may get something but may not.

Your comments about wanting to warn your sister about what might happen if she refuses are unclear though. You seem to want her to pay up so he doesn't have to go to court? Your family seem a bit over-invested on HIS side!?

attsca · 02/08/2016 10:08

Try posting in "Legal" OP.

MorrisZapp · 02/08/2016 10:11

I understand the legal position. What I don't understand is the moral one. Why are posters encouraging a position of 'tough luck, the law is on my side, ha ha' when he's contributed loads over a ten year period including personally renovating the property?

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 02/08/2016 10:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SandyY2K · 02/08/2016 10:13

If this a woman instead of a man would we be giving the same advice?

Yes it would be the same from me. It's naive to live in your boyfriend or girlfriends house and expect to make a financial claim on it when you split.

That's why marriage gives you financially security, even though people insist it's just a piece of paper and we don't need it because we love each other ... well love doesn't pay the bills when you split up now does it.

There is nothing like man and wife, unless you actually are man and wife.

Anything else requires a multitude of legal documents, which they clearly haven't done.

If I was just a girlfriend and my name wasn't on the mortgage, I wouldn't expect anything.

He should have sought proper legal advice and purchased the house as a 'tenant in common/ joint tenancy', but without actually being on the mortgage.

That said, if he has actually contributed to the mortgage and was instrumental in the purchase (did he share the initial deposit ?), then I would feel from a moral view, that he is entiltled to something.