Is it possible to get the feeling back?

[IndieTara]

Pretty new to this so hopefully I wont make any MN etiquette mistakes.
DP and I have been together 2.5 years and engaged for the last 8 mths. He really loves me and my DD and would do anything for us.
I am currently feeling very shallow and guilty that the fact he is lovely doesnt seem to be enough.
I am squeamish about certain things and unfortunately some of the things he does really gross me out. Its something we have spoken about more than once in the past but nothing really changes. We are currently abroad on our first holiday together at a relatives house ( with them ) and things have been difficult because of his personal habits. I can feel any desire I had for him draining away, but arent I just supposed to accept who he is?

Some of the little things grow to be big annoying things. I know where you're coming from. My first (& only) relationship after my marriage break up came to abit of a halt because of a lack of deodorant. Although he showered regularly, being a well built chap he also sweated alot. Came to the point when I thought at 40 something should I be explaining about personal hygiene. He was a lovely guy, but this was a turn off. I did mention it to him. Maybe I'm shallow....

Well today is the day we fly home and altho i havent seen him since Sun night he will be on our flight plus his car is at my house. Ive changed his seat so we wont be sitting together but its going to be awkward all day.

But very soon over. Stay strong.

A good move indeed Tara that you and he have consciously uncoupled. He sounds like he has no personal hygiene standards whatsoever; things like that are real deal breakers.

Presumably you are UK based. If so I was wondering if you have ever enrolled on Womens Aid Freedom Programme?. This is for women who have been in abusive relationships previously, it may well help you go forward now also.

Well yesterday was hugely stressful but he left without too big a fight, however I have had to promise to talk to him next week as he 'has a few questions'. I have also told him that there is no going back for me so I will answer his questions but he mustn't think theres any chance we will get back together

You did not have to promise him anything, you really owe this person nothing and if he still does not understand or wants to understand there is nothing you can do.

I would not meet him next week under any circumstances; there is no good reason for you to do that. Its just another stick he is using to beat you emotionally over the head with; his "I have a few questions" rubbish indeed is about wanting power and control over you.

Attila, many thanks for being concerned but I can assure you that I wont be pushed into anything I dont want to do.
I may not sound it but I am very strong minded and wont allow myself to be coerced, however you are quite correct about what he is trying to do.

I don't think I could tolerate any of that for even one minute! If it was a child doing this you would reprimand them and tel them to 'use a tissue, don't pick, go to the bathroom to sort your feet etc... Why can't you tell him the same?. It is basically bad manners and offensive behaviour but because it is a partner you feel you need to overlook it. You don't .....it is disgusting.

Stirred I spoke to him about it many times things would get beyter then revert within a few weeks.
I have now split up with him but he is ranting to all and sundry in FB