Help re 18 yr old daughter

[maryni]

Dd turned 18 this week just done a levels but wants to go to university but having to go through clearing as didn't get a place had 3 interviews.has the boyfriend from hell for last 2 years.He has no qualifications and basically does very little.As usual they know everything and we know nothing! She hasn't got a job over the summer and now no prospects of one as she's left it too late.Announced after her birthday that despite house rules she intends to spend weekends at her boyfriends and then come home but may also be out during the week.Rows ++ about it but just got text she's coming back this evening after going out yesterday morning and probably going out again Tuesday.At my wits end.Boyfriend has his own house as his father died years ago.Advice would be welcome.

[HermioneJeanGranger]

She's eighteen, OP. If she wants to stay at her boyfriend's, you can't stop her. If she wants to stay out until 4am, you can't stop her. She's an adult. She probably doesn't text you back because she finds it all quite suffocating.

She needs to get a job and help around the house, though. But that shouldn't be linked to her going out or to her seeing her boyfriend. She's an adult. Yes, you can enforce basic rules (let me know if you'll be home, clear up after yourself etc.) but you can't give an adult a curfew and tell her where she's allowed to spend the night.

[Joysmum]

The university and staying with boyfriend thing I'd be lax on.

As far as money and job goes, I wouldn't.

I was expected to earn my keep through chores and paying my parents 1/3 of my income (be that wages or benefits) up to a max of £40 late 80's/early 90's.

If unemployed it was my job to keep house and find work. Those 2 things should equate to full time hours. It would never have occurred to me to freeload off my parents or not pull my weight at home b