Stupid online crush

[honeyandmarmitesandwiches]

I've been texting someone sporadically for several months, we haven't met up and honestly I don't know a huge amount about him really but for some reason I've developed a really odd crush.

I know it's ridiculous because actually half of his messages are just sexual and I don't want to be a quick shag for someone, which is partly why I haven't met up with him. Oh and the fact that we haven't even met makes this crush even more 'unreal' and frankly ridiculous. I'm embarrassed to post this really, there are so many other things going on in my life and I'm choosing to obsess and make myself miserable over someone I haven't even met? But that's the way I feel and at the moment it's getting on top of me, I wish I understood why. It's illogical. I have this far fetched hope that something more meaningful may come of it because we do have some real common ground and I don't find that every day, but I know I'm deluding myself since he's so focused on the sexual side of things and keeps his day to day life very much to himself. I've done a tiny bit of online snooping and I'm pretty sure he's not married but this still isn't healthy or normal is it? Help me stop being silly please...is there any hope for this one or do I just cut him off once and for all?

We didn't meet up (and in the end, I was so glad I didn't, for many reasons).

I think it's natural to feel bothered by these things. Okay, you haven't met him, but you have been texting him, so in terms of feelings, I don't think it's all that different to if you met someone briefly in real life and most of your interaction was via text (IYSWIM).
I can completely relate to how you're feeling, I have felt exactly the same in the past. It is horrible to feel so unsettled and lack of confidence can just exaggerate everything - you're just so excited by the fact that someone seems interested, it blinds you to the fact that maybe it isn't the right thing. Honestly, feel free to contact me if you need someone to chat to!

It's tough to begin with but try not to dwell on it - it will get easier and you will forget all about him (and, no doubt, find someone who is more suited to you). There is no point getting involved in someone who doesn't want the same things as you. I don't do 'casual' either, and sometimes it felt like I was the only one in the world who didn't, but there are plenty of guys out there who aren't interested in just fooling around. It may take some time to find them, but they do exist! In the mean time, just try to not to let yourself get suckered in by the guys that just want to do the casual thing.

And, for the record, I guarantee that he was not out of your league. Don't let him get in your head like that!