Do I send a letter to his mum regarding her grandchildren?

[Tiffanyfoss]

Hi
In 2014 I fell pregnant with the guy in question. It was nothing serious, just went out a few times but fizzled in to nothing. I was told at 13 it would be really hard for me to conceive due to Pcos and after 3 years of unprotected sex with ex partner and not falling pregnant, when I got pregnant with this guy although in not an ideal situation I decided to keep it even though he didn't want me too.

He wasn't happy, told me he wanted nothing to do with the baby. Well he came around in the end and saw the baby when he was a newborn. He then decided he didn't want anything to do with the baby again as he had got back with an ex and was scared she would leave him if she knew.

We met up last summer and I fell pregnant again and again I decided to continue and had a daughter in March. My daughter has a heart condition and at present is not very well.

I try to get him to see the babies but he is not interested. He is more interested in sex. He claims I chose to keep the babies so he has no responsibility and he doesn't have too see them. He has offered me money and will give me money if I needed it but I haven't taken any as I don't. He says he didn't want a child and the way we are with eachother (argue all the time) he doesn't want to be involved and if the kids want to contact him when they're teenagers then they're welcome too.

He said that his mum knows about our son only and that she encouraged him to step up (which is when he first met him) but she hasn't said anymore on it. He says he won't be telling his mum. I have her name and address and I'm just wondering if I should write her a letter and said some pictures off the kids with it. I don't expect or even want her to talk him around but I feel giving their family a chance to see them is the right thing to do for their sakes.

What do you think and what should I include in this letter?

That would have been £18000 when they're 18. More when he earns more.

Don't tell me that won't be useful. It's not yours to turn down.

The sound of this man makes me angry OP. He could stand there and talk about aborting your very present and alive DC? Continually shagging about sans contraception? Sadly there will be more babies born to be neglected by this odious man. Stop sleeping with him, get the maintainence your DC are entitled to and hopefully he fucks off entirely. I would not want in a million years this creature near my precious DC. As for his mother, she knows full well about the existence of her GC and tbh she could fuck off too by her attitude.

FGS get this 'man'to pay for his own children!

Even £20 a week might make him think twice abut having unprotected sex, if it might lead to another baby.

As for his mother - do you really want someone like that in their lives?

So who is paying for the children's upkeep if he isn't?

Child maintenance is for the children and he should pay

The children deserve the money
open an account for each child that pays compound interest and pay the money in there so they can use it for their future eg car, education, wedding, property deposit etc

What hapoens if you take sick, lose your job, or any other bad thing you can think of? Who is going to put your kids through Uni, pay for a wedding or help them financially? You may not need the money now, but that money could go into an account for your children's future. I know you're not obliged to okay for their future but wouldn't it be lovely to be able to help them? Bty, when they get the money, it will actually be from you, as you haved reared them.

You are having unprotected sex with a man who treats you like dirt, won't take any responsibility for his children and fucks around not using any protection with anyone? Seriously?

Get yourself an appointment with the STI clinic and the CSA.

You may not need the money, but your children may in future. Protect them. And stop having sex with this fuckwit.