My three year old seems to hate me

[sandyballs]

I have twin DDs who are 3. I work 3 days a week but took some leave last week and was really looking forward to spending some extra time with them. This was all spoilt by one of them being really nasty and rude to me all week - she kept saying she didn't want me near her, "go and sit over there mummy, not near me, I don't like you"
"I want daddy, when is daddy coming home". When I explained he was at work she then asked for her nana or her auntie .... anyone she could think of really. I'm obviously way down on her list!!
She'd push me and try to smack me when I went near her.

I keep telling myself it's just a phase and not to take it too personally as she is only 3 but I can't help being terribly hurt by her behaviour.
It doesn't seem long ago when she was a baby and couldn't bear me to be out of her sight, now she can't stand the sight of me!

Has anyone else experienced this?

No personal experience of this yet (my DD is 22 months),but from what I have read on here, it is just a phase. Another example of your baby becoming a child and exercising her new-found, if short lived, opinions ! Try not to take it personally. I wish I could give better advice, I'm sure there'll be someone along soon who has been through this and can offer something constructive.

Hugs

I know it's hard but it's just a game to them. My daughter just adores her dad at the moment and wants to know when he's coming home. If I ask for a cuddle she tells me it's a daddy loving day. If any other adult is around - friends or aunts - she always wants to hold their hand or sit with them. If it makes you feel any better she has always been like this (she is 4 now) and the health visitor said to me when she was about 4 months old it's because she is absolutely secure that I love her and so feels confident enough to "reject" me from time to time - that's got to be a good thing surely. I used to get upset but not anymore - anyway it#s always me she cries out for in the night if she wakes up. Hope that helps.

Thanks both of you. It's like living with a stroppy teenager, not a 3 year old. It doesn't help that her sister is so mellow and affectionate, it makes the other ones behaviour stand out even more.

My dd used to do this all the time at about 3. "I'm not your friend" was her favourtie phrase. Less now she is 4 but still occasionally. I would sit on the other side of the room and pretend to cry and eventualy she would feel guilty and come and give me a hug and tell me she did love me after all.
It is hard not to feel hurt but it is just part of the manipulative armoury of young children. Try and manipulate her back but make sure she knows you still love her whatever.

Just to say that my 3 year old dd does this - not to me, but to my dp. My dp and I both work part-time, but he often does the main share of childcare during the week. He says that he is hurt by what she says, even though she is only 3. I am hoping that it is a passing phase (but it has lasted over 6 months!)

My 3 year old does that too, and it's perfectly normal. It shows that your dd is confident that you love her no matter what and she can safely experiment with these angry feelings knowing that you will still love her and will not reject or abandon her.