Friend thinks I'm being unsociable

[Nitan]

My friend has been a good friend for around 2 years now, she has one daughter, I have 2. when the school holidays are on we sometimes arrange to do stuff together which is nice, the problem is she has more money than I do and only one child to pay for so when we're talking cinema, mcdonalds, horseriding etc she doesnt seem to realise that it costs me twice as much as it costs her but when I cancel or say I can't do things due to money I'm sure she thinks I'm just being unsociable. For instance, we were talking about going to a park at the other end of the city next month during the holidays, to get there we need to get 2 buses each way so for her she just has one adult and one child which costs around £1.70 per bus (£6.80 for the whole trip there and back), for me it costs £2.50 per bus which is £10 spent straight away and then the dinner too which costs a fortune. I also have my 2 kids birthdays next month and Im also trying to save for a holiday.

How can I explain to her that although I like us spending time together in the holidays I just can't do it much this year due to other finantial commitments without sounding miserable and dramatic?

Perhaps you could come up with some plans which would cost less and invite her along.

I would think that if you explained it to her she should understand. I have four kids and I know what you're saying. It really mounts up doesn't it. My kids come home and tell me that their friends all get foreign holidays and all sort of posh things and I have to explain to them.

Cant you suggest some trips to the park,museum etc and just let her know you cant afford lots of going out to pay places???
I know where you are coming from as we are permanently skint and end up not doing a lot of stuff due to lack of money. I usually just explain to whoever why and then arrange trips to houses and other 'free' or cheaper options.

Can you be upfront with her? Explain that you can't aford to do these things regularly? But make it clear that you would be happy to arrange cheaper things like trips to the park, picnics, have your friend over to your house and vice versa?

If your friend is a friend she will understand and help you.

I would suggest a coffee at yours or a local park to you or something. If she is a good friend then she should understand about your money situation if you tell her. I guess if she just thinks your cancelling on her she might be getting a bit upset by it. It's difficult I know. I'm sure she doesn't think you are being unsociable, she just maybe thinks you are making excuses not to see her. Make the effort to see her doing cheap things and then she will know.