Here's a warning to any critical readers. I am well aware I may be overreacting, my hormones are all over the place and I am generally a worry wart. But I would really appreciate any advice.
So. Husband and I are expecting our first child, due in November, and have been looking for a bigger flat to move into before I am too massive and early enough to have time to prepare the baby's room etc. Found an amazing flat, decided together to make an offer (for a bigger rent than the asking price to maximise our chances.) We get accepted. I am super happy. Husband freaks out. BIG STYLE. All of a sudden he can't decide if this is the right flat, he is going back and forth and is in a vile mood. We have 24 hours to accept the offer, but I have to travel to my home country towards the end of this 24 hours, so I tell him to do what he thinks is best -I don't want to force him to live somewhere that makes him that anxious, but I also say honestly and straight up that I don't want to move when I am 8 months pregnant and I have 3 work trips coming up (abroad), so I would rather choose a flat now. When I get off the plane, my inbox is full of anxious emails, where he says he feels "paralysed" and "panicky" and doesn't know what the right decision is. I tell him again, I would love the flat but if it makes him that anxious let's just leave it. He then decides to pay the deposit, and I think we're done. But no. Today he has not answered my messages (we usually email or text every day when I am abroad) and when I ask if he's ok, I get an answer saying he is not ok, that he feels awful and thinks he shouldn't have paid the deposit. He just wants to sleep.
Ok. So I would understand the severity of his reaction if we were buying a house. Or moving abroad for 10 years. But we have moved to a different area within London, which is still 15 minute bus ride away from where we used to live. Admittedly the area is not quite as nice as the one before, and we had a great community vibe in the old place...but it's 15 minutes or 1 tube stop away. What on Earth is going on? I don't want to belittle his anguish but I kind of feel like he is grappling with something else entirely, something that actually has nothing to do with the flat. Saying this out loud would make him really annoyed so I won't. But please, help me. Do you have similar experiences? I feel like we were supposed to move into a nice flat and start a life together as a family, and now the whole thing is totally tainted with despair and negativity. I have no idea how to help him. Whatever I say trying to convince him it'll be fine just irritates him. I've had contractions because of the arguing, I feel very much alone in preparing for the move and the baby now. I would love to hear any similar experiences or ideas on how to deal with this. Thanks and sorry about the rant!