isthis
It is shit, yes. And not one of them is a man you'd 'expect' to do this. They're just ordinary, married men. In my case, they're mostly, but not exclusively, teachers, with their own families and children who will know exactly what the fall out for the children is if an affair comes out. And they don't care.
One told me he believed he could trust me to be discreet. One felt confident I'd never meet his wife. One was married to a SAHM and he was risking her whole security. Two or three were just really brazen about it and one knew that I'd previously worked with his wife so I know her, and still thought it would be ok.
I read threads on here where women say, "I trust him, I know he'd never cheat" or the threads where the man was naked in bed with a woman but still believes that he had a final rush of guilt and left without doing anyway, or who booked several prostitutes but never went through with meeting up with them and I think that there are none so blind as those who will not see.
I have had married men hit on me 'discreetly' when their wife is in the same room.
It's not even easy to avoid them. These aren't anonymous drunk married men who hit on me in pubs or anything like that. These are men I have met through friends, or in my social group or at work. So the only way I'd have of never seeing them again is to cut myself off from my own social life or find a new job. So I just send them on their way and keep it all as friendly as possible so that I don't lose out. It's shit.
I'm not particularly attractive, I'm not young, I'm not slim, I'm nothing special. I certainly don't get any interest from single men my own age. But other people's husbands evidently have far lower standards.
I've never taken any of them up on it. But when I see how easily they do it, and how easy it would be for me to go along with it either for a one off or a fully fledged affair, well it doesn't fill me with confidence for my own relationships in the future, let's put it like that.