Does he still love her?

[CakeyMcCakey]

I've been in a new relationship for about 3 months now and it's going really well apart from one little niggle.

He had been separated from his ex for about 18 months when I met him. It seems it was a messy break up and he was heartbroken over losing his family. He sees his child and is a great father.

The thing that is bothering me is that he has on several occasions said things like he feels he should have tried harder to remain a family for the sake of his child. I asked him outright if he would go back if she asked and he couldn't say no.

He says it's not her he would go back for - she hurt him alot and he says he doesn't like her at all because of the things she did. He just feels so bad for the broken family, for being a single parent and for missing out on so much father/child time.

They seem to have a more civil relationship now and have recently had a few family days out and I think this has made him pine for the family even more. He has also just said she's invited him for a family weekend away and he is considering it because he doesn't want to rock the boat.

But I'm terrified I'm setting myself up to be hurt here. I really like him and would like to see where this could go which he's said he'd like to do too but I can't help feeling he'd jump if she asked.

WWYD?

So he kept you a secret, planned on going out on day trips with her, and wouldn't rule out going back if she'd have him?
I'm sorry that sounds like he's forced you into the position of an OW.
I think you are well shot of the whole situation.

Hi Cakey

Sorry you are going through this. I just wanted to add a different perspective in the hope it might put a different slant on things for you.

I split from the father of my child 2 years ago. He did not want to split, he wanted to keep the family unit together (even though the family unit was miserable and there was no love between us).

Things were awful for a good while after the split, but now we are more amicable, we have had the odd day out together with the kids (and usually a mutual friend or two). We have started attending school stuff together. We do it to show the kids that mummy and daddy can get along. There is no chance whatsoever of us getting back together, although I suspect (can't be sure though) my ex still pines for the family unit. I don't think he would want to try again with me, but he probably has this romantic notion of all of us being a full time family again. Maybe this is the case for your (ex?)BF. Its not that he wants to get back together with the ex per se, but fantasises about a family unit?

I dunno I could be taking out of my arse.