Do I really need to tell my family that I'm poor (and why can't they figure it out themselves!)

[windygallows]

I've been a single parent to two DCs for the last 3 years and work FT. My lifestyle was obviously a lot better when I was with ex-DP although we were never rich. Now things are really tight - covering all expenses plus mortgage and FT daycare for youngest DC is tough. I get by but there's little left for luxuries, holidays etc and I spend free time selling stuff on ebay just to make a little money.

Parents (and their respective spouses) both retired and very very well off. Since the breakup they've not asked how I am and just don't consider the fact that I may be struggling financially. For instance they booked a family holiday last year and assumed we'd come along - it took me a year to save up for plane tickets for all three of us. I just don't think I can afford it next year but am too embarrassed to tell them.

It's even small things like the fact that my father lives about 2 hours drive away and always expects us to visit them - even that can be expensive with the costs of travel to and parking in London. It sounds crazy but when you have limited disposable money it's hard to spare the 100 pounds for one day out.

I suppose when you've always been well off (as they have been for many years) it blinds you to money problems in general but it's driving me crazy that they never think that I might be struggling. They don't ask/check and they just assume I can afford things which I just no longer can. It makes me sad too that they don't have the capacity for empathy in this area.

Do I need to me more overt in telling them I can't afford things? I'm embarrassed to have to explain but, I suppose, it's the only way they'll get it.

[LellyMcKelly]

Please tell them. I would hate for my daughter to feel she couldn't tell me about her finances, particularly if I was in a position to help her, even in a small way, by helping to cover the cost of a visit. Your dad loves you, and I'm sure would be more than happy to make things a little easier for you.

[princessmi12]

Everyone says tell parents you are struggling,but aren't parents older and supposed to be more experiences in things like these? It amazes me they never visit and never ask themselves how are you coping. Some people are just too selfish and the society we live in is not the gratest.