My mum is 70. I have always found her difficult. Since discovering mumsnet and reading lots of threads on here, including the stately home one, I have come to the conclusion that she has, at least, some narcissistic traits. I did not have a happy childhood and have a tense relationship with her.
She has managed to alienate herself from almost everyone in her life. She fell out with both her siblings who went non contact with her. They have both since died. Her friendship group, which appeared to initially flourish after her divorce from my alcoholics father about twenty years ago has dwindled.
She seems to very lacking in self awareness. She tells me how she behaves towards people and doesn't seem to realise that people won't like being treated the way she treats them. She told me today, that she had hardly seen either of her two remaining friends despite attempts on her part to contact them. She was clearly upset by this, but seemed more angry at them rather than wondering what had happened. One of these friends has been in her life since she was in her twenties.
So, should I try to broach with her what I think is the issue? Obviously, I could be wrong about this, but I think that my mum is quite critical, negative and judgemental and that people just distance themselves from her.
I don't think she would ever directly ask me ( she always presents and incidences like this as the other persons fault). I would have to bring it up myself. I could probably do it quite tactfully but, for her to take any notice, I would have to be fairly clear.
Has anyone had any experience of this. I honestly don't think she has any idea that this collective disappearance of people in her life could have anything to do with her. She thinks she is just really unlucky and eveyone "bullies" her or are horrible to her.