Dear friends. I need some advice. I've had a tough year - My mum died in February and shortly after I broke up an intense year long relationship with a tricky and emotionally immature boyfriend who I had been deeply in love with but who drove me crazy.
I recently went on a date with a guy from POF who was very different to my ex - he's solvent and easy going. He wasn't someone I would have fancied instantly across a room but I really enjoyed his company. I've now been out with him 5 times and he messages me all the time and has taken me out to some very nice restaurants and events. On the first two dates he was pretty passionate, but since then he has been less so. I stood back from hurling myself in at the deep end because of my recent experience and have been back to his place on the last 2 dates but we haven't been overly intimate (which I have too admit is somewhat unusual for me and probably more down to him than me now). I think he's a bit shy about the physical side after a long time in a sexless marriage - which I do get.
My issue is that I'm just not really sure he's that into me. I couldn't sleep tonight and have just looked on POF and noticed that he's been on there today - so he is obviously still out there looking (I haven't been since we went on the first date). I don't feel hugely upset about it - or surprised - but I'm a bit disappointed. There are things about him I'm not sure about - is the chemistry really there (with my previous boyfriend it was there in spades) and as I'm a passionate, touchy feel person it feels odd to me to be out with someone who doesn't show much physical affection. We are at very different points in our lives - I've been divorced for 8 years and am ready for a committed relationship, he is going through a messy divorce and still very much involved in his ex's life as they have young kids (I have 2 teenagers so I respect the involvement with his kids but I think there are more detached ways to be involved with your ex wife if you want to be).
I'm going on holiday at the weekend for 10 days and I think its a good opportunity to see what contact there is after my return and use it to test whether he and I continue to want to see each other. At the moment I think I would like to, he is very cool and comfortable in his skin and we have a good time together. I'm just not sure whether it will grow into anything - I'm wondering if he's just not really into me. I tend to be a bit of a marmite personality - I'm outgoing and funny, smart, quirky, successful in my work and have lots of friends. I'm not drop dead, a bit over weight at the moment (which doesnt help my esteem) but usually guys who like me really get me, if you know what I mean.
I'd like advice - is this guy just not into me, should I date other people (not usually my style - I'm a one guy at a time girl) or just take a step back from communicating whilst I'm away and see how I feel after my holiday?