are men put off by fat women?

[FairyOnTheChristmasTree]

I am 20 stone, 5'6 and a clothes size 24/26. I have put on a stone in less than a month. Before when I was still big men would chat me up but now, apart from 1 who was married, I have not been approached by a man and I want some male company, a bit of romance in my life.

Even before 99% of the men who did chat me up would be after the sex TBH and would make some comment that I needed to lose weight or would say I would look nicer if I lost weight.

Do men hate us larger ladies?

The thing is, women don't have to be huge to get grief about their weight from their boyfriends. One guy used to give me a hard time when I was a size 10-12, as in, "Don't you DARE put any weight on or I will NOT be going out with you anymore!" Also I went up to a size 16 when pg and ex (who dumped me anyway) started point blank refusing sex, didn't even have the honesty to say why.

I respect the right of a person to have a particular 'taste' re. the kind of partner they want eg I don't like short guys and some people think that's just shallow. However some guys are just not very nice and even when they know and love you, weight will always be an issue for them and thus you. These are the ones you have to avoid. Somehow!

Unfortunately all the press favouritism for skinny girls with big boobs affects men as much as it does us; we feel sh*t, while they are trained into feeling some degree of repulsion at v normal female attributes eg small breasts, big bottoms and thighs, pear shapedness, etc.

If I were you and v keen to date I would join an agency or website where prospective dates can see your pic/details first, thus anyone who would be put off simply won't make contact. You do sound keen to date and if so I think trying to pick up guys in bars or clubs is a bit random and prob quite wearing, after a while.

I've been larger 14/16 which is big for a short person and I've then been very slim for 15 years (all due to pcovaries). I never cared either way about my weight although there was a time when I was really thin and I think I looked truly awful. I had more male attention when I was bigger because I was younger and more optimistic. I'm still slim now I get no positive vibes-possibly because I don't give out any positive vibes.

A work colleague who used to walk staring at the floor because she was so uncomfortable with her body. What made me laugh was that when we went out the silly moo didn't realise she was getting ALL the male attention. Sadly she still doesn't get it!!!

two words. marilyn. monroe. no it doesnt matter and tbh i think most men love a curvy womanly woman with a bust and butt and more then anything else they love a woman who loves themself. What i will say is that you perhaps need to work on what you think of yourself. one because to put on a stone that fast you are comfort eating a hell of a lot which suggests either boredom or unhappiness. Look at why your eating, understand what your doing to yourself with eating that much and decide yourself, for yourself and noone else whether you wish to carry on as you are. If you are good for you and i am sure you will meet a man who can appreciate your curves in no time, if not get up, get out and get moving!! Either way, its your opinion and noone elses who matter!!

Dh admitted recently that although he would still love me (and sh.g me!) he def. wouldn't fancy me as much if I put on weight.....can't say I am surprised - I would feel the same about him. Sad but true.

Im not huge but i deffo have a ridiculosly large bust and a ehem slighlty larger bottom! My DP regurly tell's me im beautiful and i have seen him be chatted up but stunningly gorgeous thin women and he doesn't bat an eyelid when saying 'no hat's my missus and she's gorgeous' so no i don't think it matters. Like some others have said, loose wieght if you want to.

I am a big girl and my ex didn't have a problem with me being big. My new dp doesn't have a problem because he loves me for who i am not what i look like, he finds me sexy he said he doesn't matter if she's big or small doesn't bother him...He is very small about a size 30" waist so look like chalk and cheese. We do get a few looks now and again. I am not happy with my weight and i'm trying to loose it for ME not my dp.

If you are happy how you are then don't change for any man, if you not happy change for YOU not for the hope of a man. No one is perfect.

My darling, of course they are, just like they are put off by disabled women (which is what I am). At least the type of blokes who hang around pubs and clubs are.

For about 7 years in my 20's I was desperate, going out to clubs and bars, joining dating agencies, anywhere I thought I could meet fellas. But it didn't happen that way for two reasons

1. I didn't fit that ideal of a woman a man 'picks up'.
2. Because I was obviously looking for a bloke, so I was too 'needy'

Eventually I gave up, and threw myself into my career (was childless then mind you). A guy joined the company I worked for, got to know me, saw thru my appearance, fell in love with me, and now we have been married 14 years.

True loving relationships don't come from people who care what you look like. Nor do they come from your searching for a partner. Get on with building a life for yourself, and he is fairly likely to appear in your life out of the blue, when you least expect it.

I would suggest, however, that you look at losing a bit of that weight, esp. that latest stone before it gets established. It isn't healthy to be too much overweight, and makes non-related illnesses harder to treat if they strike you.

I know this isn't necessarily what you wanted to hear, but I really believe it's true.

Good luck, be happy.