Getting back with an ex????

[em11960]

My ex and I were together for 2 years, lived together for a year and have a 16 month old daughter. We've been split up for 9 months and he started seeing someone else a few months ago.

Our relationship became very volitile, particularly after I had our daughter because I wasn't feeling myself and we very insecure and he couldn't cope with it.

We had a bad break up and have said some horrendous things to each, not to mention there were a few other things we didn't agree on at the time.

Out of nowhere he's told me he's breaking up with his girlfriend because she's not the one and she's not me. Says he's never stopped loving me and that's why things got nasty but he's never met anyone he gets on with as well as me and he's heartbroken how things turned out etc.

I'm in shock, I had moved on (or I thought I had) but now it's just like I do still love him and might actually want this.

He is breaking up with her tonight and I've said I don't want to talk about anything until he's dealt with that. He's not doing it to be with me, he just knows she's not for him and it's only fair he's honest and let's get fond someone who is actually commited to her. I just don't know if I'm being silly thinking this could work...has anyone else reconciled with an ex? Successfully?

I know I'm not the insecure, jealous wreck I was and I'm not even jealous about the girlfriend so I know I'm in a much different place than I was then.

When things were bad they were REALLY bad and when they were good they were the best. We get on so well, even since splitting up we always end up having a laugh and a joke.

Is it possible for a failed relationship to work second time round?

Hi Em
I don't post much but as all posters seem so negative felt I should!
I do agree that in most cases, getting back with an ex doesn't work out. However, there are exceptions, and I know personally of at least one relationship that split and got back and still going strong 8 years later. It is the exception but it does happen.
My personal experience, I have got back with exes and it hasn't worked out. But, I do not regret for one minute doing so as there was what ifs and at least by getting back together you can answer that what if questions. You are not likely remembering the positives of the relationship this many months down the road - you won't know if you could work together unless you actually try. I would take it slowly though, maybe just increase your friendship for a while before you get physical again.
Good luck em and remember the only person living your life is you x

He's done it. I honesty haven't made my mind up I just know if it worked this time it would be great but I'm scared to take the chance because if the kids x

What's different know, from 9 months ago, that makes you think it could work if you tried again?

And would the fact he's been sleeping with someone else for 3 months bother you in any way?

9 months ago we were stuck in a cycle...my issues weren't to blame but the way I felt about myself didn't help. Being on my own I feel confident, I've gotten my self respect back and finally put all the bad stuff behind me.

As for the sleeping with someone else...I can't blame him for that because we'd been split up for months and we're both trying to move on. I just didn't meet anyone I wanted to date. I don't know, I just feel stronger...like I've grown lol. It's just seeing if he's been doing the same. She hasn't taken it well so I'm just leaving him to deal with the fall out then I'll see how we go

I don't think he intentionally messed her about..
.you might someone you like, you date and get to know each other and sometimes you don't have as much in common as you thought