Would you give your child father surname in this situation?

[Staronthewall]

Myself and DP decide to try and start a family.

We have discussed marriage in the future. I am in no particular rush.

I have large savings and earn considerably more than DP at the moment.

We both work locally and in flexible modern businesses where we could both be an equal part in child care.

I am in the position that the child has my surname. DP obviously would want child to have his surname.

I would do so if we were married, but I think the risk of getting married post birth and then minds being changed about marriage (mine or him) would mean I would be more cautious of using DP's surname.

I have been married before, DP hasnt. He wants to get married in future. I on the other hand would love that too, but dont see it as necessary in a security type of way.

I have also suggested to him that if we marry it be a small intimate wedding.
However, he has a large close family and other family members have had big weddings which he has lived and wants to do the same.
I wouldnt want to stop him in doing that seeing as he hasn't done it before and I have

My STBXH has had a baby with Ow and baby has his surname. I find it quite strange that GF has done this considering we are not divorced yet so infact baby has same surname as me and the kids. Why let a man have the privilege of the baby having the same surname as his yet he isn't even divorced so therefore in no position to marry for at least another 6 months?

No I wouldn't, I would always want to have the same surname as my child. The surnames can always be changed if/when you get married (if that's what you want to do) Is double barrelled an option as as compromise?

The best thing you can do for your child is to get married first. Obviously not always possible if pregnancy unplanned or in an abusive relationship.

No, I would not. Double-barrel is probably the best solution.

Why is the best thing for my child that I get married to its father though?

If I honestly could see reasons to do so I wouldn't be hesitating to do it

I have different surname to my children. I'm married but I chose that way. It's part of my culture.

Never understood why is it a pain logistically. Never ever have it been an issue for me.

Many many mothers in this world don't have the same surname as their children.

Do whatever you like. As long as it suits your family.

From your OP, I think you should either give your child your surname, double barrel or use the father's name as a middle name. It sounds like it's important to you that your child carries your name. That's a good enough reason to do it.