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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Does anyone else struggle to sleep when rowing with dh?

7 replies

poocatcherchampion · 18/07/2016 10:29

Dh and I had a falling out on Saturday. (He wasn't nice I was very tired). As a result my mind was racing and I ended up not falling asleep until 3 am and up with the baby after that. So naturally I felt worse yesterday, and tried to nap and still couldn't sleep as my mind raced again.

I don't get too much time to think and mull things over but that was ridiculous as it meant the whole thing was worse as I was so much more knackered.

Is this normal and how do I address it?

OP posts:
category12 · 18/07/2016 10:38

Try to resolve arguments before bedtime?

I only ever suffer insomnia with relationship stress. Used to be absolutely flooded with Adrenalin... I don't know the answer really - allow yourself to think about it for a certain amount of time and then box it up mentally for the morning?

poocatcherchampion · 18/07/2016 10:42

Its so difficult isn't it? I do try all the normal get to sleep techniques like writing it down, reading a book, ear plugs etc but o always go back to how the annoying arse is lying there snoring while I'm wide awake.

We don't row that often that this is frequent but it just feels lame that I can only sleep if dh is being nice. It is not essential that he is lovely at all moments. He is human. I don't like being so dependent on him for it

OP posts:
category12 · 18/07/2016 10:44

Very vexing indeed when they sleep away. Flowers

TheNaze73 · 18/07/2016 11:15

Different people react to conflict in different ways. I need to reflect because I may something I regret if I'm angry, so would park it & sleep. Think you need to accept not everyone deals with things how you would. Not a criticism in the slightest OP btw, just how I see it

EssentialHummus · 18/07/2016 11:25

I have a strange version of this. I tend to fall asleep holding DH. If I'm angry with him, I don't want to hold/hug him. But I can't fall asleep if I don't - which then makes me angrier with him.

HermioneJeanGranger · 18/07/2016 11:29

I'm the same, I can't fall asleep on an argument and my ex used to fall asleep and refuse to talk until morning, by which time he'd calmed down and I was even more angry at being ignored, so it just dragged on.

It drove me nuts, but I don't know the solution. You can't force someone to resolve an argument with you on your terms, much as it would make life easier Grin

poocatcherchampion · 18/07/2016 11:32

I know - its such a pain. I'm not trying to change him, more me. But I don't know how to deal with it.

OP posts:
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