i have had the shittest week. last thurs my lovely mum was diagnosed with breast cancer, it was a real shock actually as consultant had said he was 90%certain it would be benign. turns out she has had it for over a year and now of course shes certain its spread all over and that shes going to die. i really am her only support. my dads with her but a bit hopeless bless him. she doesnt have any siblings or friends and i dont thave any brothers or sisters.
also been having relationship probs with h for a while and have started going to relate. this morning he tells me out of the blue (well after a usual row about money ) that he no longer loves me (i dont think he even likes me) and he wants a divorce and that he's not moving outand that we will divorce but live in same house (with 3 kids- 2 of whom have asd). how the hell does he think thats going t obe best for anyone? i mean really his timing couldnt be worse could it?
for a few years now i feel i have had a lot to deal with- firstly, his son from a prev relationship turned up out of the blue, later on that year, i found out he had been having an affair. then last year, after months of searching i found my birth mother (i was adopted at birth) and she categorically said she didnt want anything to do with me, that i meant nothing to her and she hadnt wasted a moment thinking about me since she gave me away. a couple months after this, ds1 was diagnosed with AS and there then ensued a massive battle for me trying to claim DLA for him, failing and having to go through appeal and tribunal. october last year ds2 was also diagnosed with AS and i am having to go through DLA appeal route agin.
everyone always says how well icope and how strong i am but i really dont think i can take much more. i mean how much should one woman have to deal with on her own? how am i going to get through all this? feel like running away and never coming back