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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I've walked away

8 replies

user1468698069 · 17/07/2016 11:39

from a relationship where the chap was nice to me albeit early days he would get cross with strangers in front of me not just driving, but people working in shops when it wasn't their fault. I felt embarrassed and can't deal with unnecessary conflict, I will when on the rare occasions I have to but don't seek it out. On one occasion I felt scared so I've left, I felt sorry for the people on the receiving end. I liked being in a relationship after many years on my own but not if I can see it's unhealthy. He wants me back but don't feel comfortable. He knows I left an abusive relationship and can't deal with conflict, it's not a part of my life I'll ever go back to. Should I stay away as feel sad to be alone again.

OP posts:
TroysMammy · 17/07/2016 11:44

Yes you should stay away. Not liking being lonely is no reason to stay in a horrible relationship. Reading your post you will probably be lonely and isolated if you stay with him.

user1468698069 · 17/07/2016 11:52

I am getting a lot of lovely messages but we are not kids and I don't believe people can change unless they want to and are young enough, perhaps I need to avoid the phone. If a person can get cross with strangers, it seems only a matter of time before it will be me. Even if that never happens and that's a big if, I feel so uneasy being with someone who can get angry so quickly and towards women too.

I think expressing it in writing helps me to see it more clearly.

OP posts:
Resilience16 · 17/07/2016 12:37

Hi, your post resonates with me so much.
My ex used to randomly kick off in shops, restaurants and while driving. Took me a while to realise it wasn't random and was always aimed at women. When I had the temerity to point this out to him after he had done it yet again, he turned on me....
So yes, you've done the right thing getting rid of this guy.

applesvpears · 17/07/2016 12:39

It sounds like that friends episode with Ben Stiller as Rachel's angry boyfriend. Flowers

user1468698069 · 17/07/2016 12:43

Yes restaurants too....... I was only with him for a few months but there were already a lot of incidents. Thanks Resilience. I was wondering if I was being a bit wimpish but realise that no one has the right to make me feel embarrassed or uncomfortable. The time I was too scared to voice an opinion was the time I walked away.

OP posts:
HandyWoman · 17/07/2016 14:28

OP you've done such a brilliant thing by walking away. Well done.

Flowers
Badders123 · 17/07/2016 14:30

I think the true test of a persons character is how they treat shop assistants/waitresses etc.
Sounds like,you've sdidged a bullet to me
Well done X

Puff42 · 17/07/2016 17:44

Follow your gut - you're right to end it with him.

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