DP has annoyed me...

[Ilovemyboy]

I am on my own with our 8wk old DS all day every day apart from weekends. We live in London and all our family and most of our friends are in the NW so I don't get any help with DS apart from when DP is around.

DP works long hours and as a result, DS prefers for me to change/cuddle/bathe etc him so I naturally end up doing everything to avoid him crying. In fairness, DP does do chores around the house when he is here but I would rather he spent quality time with DS and I would do the chores.

DP has just been to a conference in Cannes for 5 days. He works in dance music so basically it was a 5 day jolly of him getting pissed or whatever else with a load of industry bods that he knows. He came home today and said he didn't get to bed last night as he had been up drinking all night. He was in a mess and since he has been home, he has just sat here moaning about how he feels all day and has gone to bed early. I feel like kicking him because I am so tired. This trip was a decent opportunity for him to get some good sleep so at least one of us was feeling relatively normal and capable. He acknowledged this before he went but I knew he wouldn't be able to resist the temptation of getting hammered every night.

He did the same thing when he went to Amsterdam with work when I was 37wks pregnant and his excuse for getting in a mess then was that it was going to be his last opportunity for a while.

I am feeling frazzled and so tired and he isn't much help and is taking the piss.

What can I do?

It is very hard adjusting to having a baby, isn't it? I found it hard, and I know DH did too, initially.

What I would do if I was you is not give your DH a choice. Leave him with DS for a couple of hours on a Saturday morning. Go and have your hair cut, go and sit in a cafe, just leave him with DS - because otherwise you will get frustrated when he does things differently and you'll be tempted to take over.

I went back to work when DS1 was 6mo, just Sundays and Wednesday evenings, but it meant DH had to know how to look after DS1, because I wasn't there. He was the least "baby" person I knew before we had DS1 - but he's brilliant with the boys now (better than me in many, many ways - far more patient!).

I would say to your DH that you know it's hard to adjust to being a parent and that you understand the temptation of going out and partying, but that you'd really appreciate it if you could have a break as well (a lie-in on a Saturday, the afternoon off to go shopping, a night out with the girls, etc, etc).

The relationship with your DS will come as he spends more time with him - and he'll have to if you just go out and leave him to it, as I say.

Good luck with it.