Good places in London to meet an eligible 'husband material' man?

[SingleGirlInTheCity]

I'm not a mother but I do have a dilemma that you can hopefully help me with! I'm a new immigrant to London. I applied on a whim and I was unexpectedly offered a place on an economics PhD program. I'm mostly very excited to be here but I feel a twinge of misgiving when I realise that I'm twenty five and I'm here for the next five years.

I'd ideally like to meet and marry a man by the time I'm thirty. If I were back home it would be much easier as I have a close-knit social circle with intelligent, interesting, high-achieving men who are quite settled in their lives and entering into serious relationships now. However, student life in London is more transient and alienating. Everyone around me seems unsure of where life will take them and unlikely to be 'marriage material'. I don't have good friend or family here to introduce me to anyone and I find Tinder too superficial and frankly, unromantic.

At the risk of sounding like a character out of a Victorian romance, can I ask where one meets eligible men in London? The kind who are intelligent, successful, driven and ready to settle down and start a family in this city? Are there any particular clubs or professional institutions I could join perhaps? I come from a very culturally different place so sorry if this question sounds daft!

Sports clubs (hockey and running clubs are often referred to as matchmaking agencies!) or cultural events such as those open to Friends of the Royal Academy, or the National Theatre etc.

Members clubs as mentioned above. The Lansdowne attracts a late 20s and 30s professional crowd and has a packed social calendar.

If you're religious, I know some of the central London churches have very active social and dating scenes - I assume other faiths will have similar.

Thanks for your advice everybody! I've signed up for Guardian's Soulmates and I want to get some young people/ student memberships to theatres and museums and join a nice gym anyway.

I also like the sound of the member's clubs - would you know of any you can join based on profession (economics/ policy) rather than through member reccomendations?

The other thing I've just thought of is of course expats! There must be clubs and meetups of people in London from your country of origin. Not sure how to find them though, maybe the embassy would have some info? Or just search for groups on Facebook? Has the advantage that they'll have the same cultural expectations as you. Unless you're trying to get away from other people from where you're from of course

Good luck on Guardian soulmates, two friends of mine met on there last year and are about to move in together.

Try dance classes, you can lean a new skill and meet new people at the same time.

Do you really want to meet/marry a man in London? Long-term, would you want to live here? What if you had kids, would you want them to be UK citizens, or grow up away from your own lifestyle, culture, old friends and family?

I know loads of Guardian Soulmates marriages and babies. You could apply for their Blind Dates column in the magazine too - they've had a couple of marriages, and you'd get a free meal. In general I don't think 25 year old London men are looking to settle down, but I'd work outwards from your PhD course mates to find the friends of friends who are in promising graduate jobs, and just mingle for your life. And take up running! Good Gym is good, because you get to chat while you work as well as just run.

The running club is a great idea. You don't even have to join a club - you could just look up "parkrun" and turn up to your nearest one, free, and make sure to mingle afterwards (ours finishes in the pub).

Similarly, Local Tennis Leagues will match you up with tennis partners of similar standard for informal matches on local courts - again this is an opportunity to extend your social circle without paying club fees.

I met a younger man who was on his uppers op. Fell in love with him. It all worked out ok though . So did Theresa May.

Can I suggest you do your own searching, my tips are reserved for my DD.

Definitely second the running club in SW London (wondering if we are talking about the same one? ). I've since moved to Scotland, but loved it when I was single in London as it was basically a ready-made group of friends.

Royal Geographic Society had a lot of eligible men in it too (I only know as an ex was a member). Quite often some of the more historically male clubs such as the RAC are really keen to find new women members, so they might have more flexible joining rules.

I met my husband in a bar in a Clapham Junction after years of online dating, going out in Clapham/Fulham. Completely random and we're off out for our sevenyear anniversary of our first date tonight (I'm pregnant with Dc3)!

always
Are you a chaser..?

OP, I work in policy and have to go to occasional work networking things. I would actively run in the opposite direction of any club which sought to introduce you to single men exclusively in that field...

Have a look at the social calendar at some of the clubs. The Lansdowne club has a liberal arts background with regular social events with speakers on a range of topics, as well as regular 'under 30s' events. They have reduced fees for younger members as well

Toxicity: I've from Turkey. Well, I'm half-Turkish, half-Italian but I identify mostly as Turkish as I never grew up in Italy.

ViolettaValery: Hmm...it's not that I want to avoid Turkish men, exactly. Turkish men are often very family oriented and caring. But Turkish society is much more rigid in the 'man as provider / woman as nurturer' divide and I'm ambitious too.

I have nevertheless dated a socially liberal, 'westernised' man in Istanbul; social mores are definitely changing now in the big cities. But given that I'm here and it's a culture that's more generally accepting of career oriented women, I'm not exactly seeking out Turkish men specifically. And I'm not religious or overly nationalistic or anything else that would prevent me from dating outside my culture.

cycle clubs, running clubs, orienteering clubs, green party meetings, national film theatre,

Cycling or rock climbing or outdoor sports club.

Plus don't push the "ready to settle down and start a family" thing too early or they will all run away. If you are more interested in having babies than finding an intelligent man you enjoy being with you will struggle to find a man. Most men want to have a few years of fun in a relationship before the domestic tedium stuff and never being able to pop out to the pub again.

I think you are over-thinking things! Just get involved with all sorts, see where you fall and go with the flow.

But Shoreditch House private members club did spring to mind.

Landsdowne club looks great but you need to be proposed and seconded by existing members and I don't know any!

Also sometimes older single men are single because they prefer it that way and dating men your own age is more likely to lead to a lasting relationship.

so he doesn't feel threatened by your education/ ambition.

Really?