Possible to be try happy and content SINGLE?

[gemsangels123]

Anyone out there can honestly say this is true? Going back 5 years I thought absolute rubbish but now after lots of time alone and a long road of failed dating experience I'm thinking can I find 'contentment' alone?
I guess I'm asking is I actually want to and wondering how?

Wow! Some lovely stories here and some that bought a tear to my eye.
I think the hardest part for me is not havin anyone to come home to and talk about my day. Share good news....and someone to give me a hug when I get home from a horrendous shift with a not so nice person above me at work.

gemsangels123

I know what you mean about the shite day at work and needing a hug. But you can be happy and single .... you just have to have a fulfilled life away from relationships. There's a big wide world out there - and if you're brave enough, you don't need anyone else to do most things with (well except the obvious but that's easy to find if necessary )

I have a reasonably fulfilled life. I have children so much of my time is taken up with them, but I do have a social life that extends beyond the realms of 'cocktails with the other school mums once a month' which is what a lot of mums seem to do (if FB is anything to go by!) And I'm more than happy to go and do stuff on my own.

But none of it makes me feel loved. None of it makes me feel valued. None of it comforts me when I'm hurting. None of it phones me to ask me how I am. None of it makes me laugh. None of it appreciates me. None of it misses me. None of it can make plans for the future. None of it. And I can't do any of that for it either. My evenings are quiet. If I haven't made specific plans to see people, my weekends are quiet.

Maybe it's harder for me because of the whole 'love' thing. I do know people who are happily and contentedly single, but they have family around them; they know that they are cared about and loved. They spend a lot of time with their families.

I'm not desperate to meet someone; I've ended the last two relationships I've been in because they weren't right for me, and stopped a further one from developing very early on because it was obvious from the outset that it wasn't going to meet my needs. I won't put up with anything (as I've seen a lot of women do) just so that I'm not single.

I want to be loved, cherished and desired by someone. If I can't have that, I don't want anything. But I really, really do want that

I just have this very big feeling that if I dropped off the world tomorrow my children would notice when they didn't get fed, but there is no one else. That makes me sad.

Good friends will love and cherish you, Morning.

I am sincerely admired, valued, respected, sought out, and accepted warts and all by a tiny handful of very wonderful friends (and I feel the same about them)

The thing you seek is indeed essential for a balanced and happy life, but it is not exclusive to romantic pairings.

I am single at 33 and have genuinely never been more content than I am at the moment. I suppose it depends who else you have in your life. I have wonderful friends who are good fun, supportive and make me feel like I'm not at all alone in the world. I have a busy social life, satisfying work life but also relish the times when I'm alone and can just be quiet with my own company. The only thing I really miss that isn't provided by friends is sex. But then a lot of long-term relationships end up with very little sex anyway so there's not much difference there!

I can honestly say that the happiest and most content people I know are all single.

So many people in relationships are not entirely happy, many relationships are full of 'compromises' at best and real unhappiness at worst. .

Learning to be self sufficient and enjoying your own company, having a wide circle of friends and lots of worthwhile and interesting activities is so important. Relying on someone else to 'make you happy' is not always the answer.

I think TheMorning's view of a fulfilling relationships is lovely, but I really don't know that many couples who have that level of happiness together - perhaps I am too cynical .

Ragwort I don't think it's that idealised though.

I want to be loved. I married a man who didn't love me in the knowledge that he didn't. I've never been loved. It's a horrible, lonely, soulless existence. I don't want someone who has settled for me or whatever. I want someone who wants to be with me.

I want to be cherished. I want someone who wants to treat me and our relationship with respect. I want to be in someone's thoughts. I want someone who isn't constantly looking out for better/younger/slimmer/prettier. I want someone who cares about me and wants me to be ok.

I want to be desired. I don't want to be with someone who'd rather wank to porn than have a sexual relationship with their partner.

I don't think any of that is unreasonable, to be honest!

Rice Will they? I'm not sure mine do. They certainly don't seek me out. And I don't feel it except from one whose work/family/boyfriend commitments mean she rarely has any time.

I think most men are constantly looking for younger/slimmer/prettier to be honest.
I know of so many relationships where the man has gone of with another woman even though he appeared to be happy in the relationship they were in.
I think a lot of men have a sense of entitlament and seem to find no trouble having a woman to fulfill that.

That is what I find the saddest part about all this.

I'm going to end up being single forever because I'm only human and not yet dead and I'm not prepared to settle for someone who is settling for me.

Thankyou all for your messages 😘
I think after reading I need 'friends'....I am studying so hopefully the people I've met on my course will soon to be friends. I am busy working/placement /children/ housework. I don't have time or childcare to date and a little bit skint to do anything anyway. Just finishing a 12 hour shift to do a night shift as I'm super skint right now. I don't have a close family. My mum helps out with childcare as much as possible which I appreciate. Alot of my time is spent with my little munchkins which makes me super happy but i do miss adult company. but I seriously need to find a way/time to find a little something for me. Not sure how as yet....
Thankyou all again 😊
To all that are feeling lonely keep posting it's nice to know we have eachother right?