I had a thread last week about how my DP was acting after our MMC and how I didn't feel he was being supportive. But tonight he's really pissed me off.
We were chatting over dinner and I brought up a report i'd seen on the news about certain IVF funding being cut in Essex and how it had already been cut in our area. I was saying, if it turns out we would need IVF for genetic reasons once we find out the reason behind the MMC, where we live might have an impact on us being able to do that. To which he replied 'well if there's a problem with my sperm, it doesn't matter cos i've already got two kids'. I felt this is below the belt considering the events of the last fortnight - to me it sounds like he's saying 'stuff you love, I don't care if we don't have any kids cos i've already got mine'.
So I said as much to him. He replied 'well you'd just adopt wouldn't you?' to which I replied 'no, you have already told me you wouldn't want to adopt, we'd just use different sperm I guess'...and then I got 'well if you did that I wouldn't be with you, i'm not raising another man's kid'. Not 'if it came down to it, we'd discuss all the options darling, but I'm not sure I would be comfortable with using another man's sperm' - this I could totally respect, i'm sure it's not for everyone, but to blurt out what he did is a bit harsh no? Especially after telling me he doesn't give a shit if we have conception issues because he's already got his kids. Kids which I am expected to help raise as my step children? It made me feel a bit of an idiot, he's too good for raising someone else's child in nothing more than biology, but i'm helping to raise children you had with another woman who is their mother in every way - what does that make him think of me? Am I some sort of mug is his eyes for doing that? I'm pretty sure i'm hugely helpful to him and the children, surely that makes him a big, ugly hypocrite? How can you allow someone to do something you think is unthinkable to do yourself?
I'll admit that I saw red (i'm still a little emotional) and retorted 'I wouldn't be with you if you wouldn't allow me to have children', then I got called an arsehole and told that I owe him an apology. He apparently does not owe me one because he doesn't believe he said anything that could come across as horrible.
Was I over sensitive or is he a bell end? Or are we both bell ends? Reading it back, it sounds like we're both teenagers again 