Apologies if this is long - I really don't want to drip feed as I feel that I need some outside views on this situation.
My children's Dad and I split up around 6 years ago. We had children young, quickly, and in a short space of time. We were only together for around 2 and a half years and had 2 children together. Split when our youngest child was around 6 months old. It was never a healthy relationship - as I say, we were very young and he just failed to grasp the fact that he needed to grow up when I fell pregnant with our first child. He was the sole earner but spent almost all of his weekly earnings on alcohol and drugs, would go out almost every weekend throughout my pregnancy and following the birth of our baby. We stayed together and I fell pregnant again, his behaviour still didn't change. I got post-natal depression following the birth of our second child, had no support from him, and eventually realised how ridiculous it was and left him.
At first it was horrendous, he would show up at my house drunk, wanted to know where I was at all times, and didn't help with money for his children. Over the years we began to get on and I can honestly say had a good relationship, albeit he was still incredibly selfish and this attitude never changed.
Around 2 years ago he met a woman and they got together. I got on well with her, my children liked her children, and we all got along quite nicely when we needed to. They've since had a child together, my children's half-sibling, and I was (honestly) very happy for them and really care about the baby. However, the selfish behaviour from him has continued, he doesn't make an effort to see my children, he doesn't ask to see them, and would always ask how quickly I could pick them up any time I did drop them off to him so they could spend some time with their Dad. I could also see that he was treating this new woman the exact same way he treated me and it was awful to watch. She was strong and independent and he's turned her into a shell of her former self. That is a separate issue, I'm just including it to make it clear that his attitude and personality have stayed exactly the same - I would even say gotten worse - since we split up 6 years ago.
This brings us to the past month. The not showing an interest in his children has persisted, there was always an excuse as to why he couldn't see them or have them over. I helped them out with some issues they had but then when I asked if my children could stay with them one weekend as I had to work, I was once again met with excuses and told that they couldn't. This was the final straw for me, and I've made the decision that their relationship with their Dad is not doing them any good, they are only ever left feeling disappointed and let down by him, he has no financial or positive emotional input into their lives and I just do not want him to be a part of their lives any longer. This has come after 6 years of me trying my hardest to ensure he stayed in their lives, never stopping him from seeing them, dropping them off and picking them up, forgiving him over and over again when he let them down. I've had enough, and I feel fairly certain that this is the right decision.
The problem is that my children and his partner's children go to the same school. And he is out of work at the moment (and has apparently decided that he no longer wants to work) so is doing the school run with his girlfriends children every day. So my children see him with them every day, they say a quick hello to him, he'll occasionally make a half arsed comment about them going to their house soon, then he'll be off.
I cannot imagine how my children must feel about this. I haven't explained to them that I don't want them to see him any more, I don't quite know how to vocalise that without coming across as the bad guy. But they must be hurting. They're 9 and 6 years old. They're my babies, and they love their Daddy. My youngest gets so excited to see him, they ask me all the time if they can go to their house, it's honestly a horrendous feeling and I have no idea how to deal with this situation. I'm completely at a loss. So if anybody has actually ploughed through all of that and has any words of wisdom or advice or opinion at all, please do reply. Whether you agree with me or not, I want to know how others would deal with this. Also if anybody feels any information is missing let me know and I'll do my best to fill in any gaps.