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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Escape thread

11 replies

roarfeckingroar · 09/07/2016 14:08

I posted before about the lack of intimacy in my relationship. It's been 5 weeks since anything.

I did a shit thing and kissed a friend. It happened once and I felt awful, told him, cut that friend out my life. He called me every name under the sun for days, smashed things, called my father and told everyone on social media I'm dirty and a total slag etc: I'm not. I made a mistake after months of rejection. One I've paid for.

Two weeks later nothing has improved. He doesn't come home when he says he will, he's nasty to me, zero intimacy. He can get aggressive and knows how to stick the knife in but not physical. My confidence has gone. I'm living in limbo. He laughs at the fact my mother died.

I need to leave. I out earn him significantly and our rented flat is one I found for us. I can afford it alone and he can't. But I have an insane work project until September. I can't cope with stress until then.

Just ugh. I'm lost.

OP posts:
amypie86 · 09/07/2016 15:25

It sounds like your life would be pretty peaceful without his guy! Get rid of him. There's never a convenient time for a break up.

HuckfromScandal · 09/07/2016 15:27

Whose name is the flat in?
Just tell him to go
Never a good time
Do it now
Rip off the bandaid.

QuiteLikely5 · 09/07/2016 15:30

You're making excuses how on earth is it less stressful staying with him until your project is finished Confused

SandyY2K · 09/07/2016 18:45

What kind of man laughs at your mother's death? You need him like a hole in the head - what a bas*d.

I don't normally say this, but I'm not suprised you kissed that friend.

Ugghh. He's a terrible man.

roarfeckingroar · 17/07/2016 14:23

I have ended it.

He's digging in heels and trying to be lovely.

This isn't going to be easy but there is progress!

OP posts:
roarfeckingroar · 17/07/2016 14:25

ive also unblocked the friend's number and he's being very supportive and lovely. Not one of my friends hadn't said "about time" when they heard I've left him.

OP posts:
roarfeckingroar · 17/07/2016 14:28

I'm now terrified to be alone at 28. I thought I would be married by now. I'm going to end up alone and childless, albeit with a smashing career and many many dogs

OP posts:
Hillfarmer · 17/07/2016 14:32

Well done OP. You're not going to be alone and unhappy, but you will be without a shithead that makes your life a misery. You've done well. Just make sure he leaves and get rid forever.

roarfeckingroar · 17/07/2016 14:33

I'm in Europe for a long weekend with my best friend. He has been sending messages about how he will "up his game" and appreciate me more. Keep in mind it's over and we haven't had sex for like 7/8 weeks now (and I'm very much a 3 times a day girl). He won't go without a fight but it'll be fine, I can do this.

OP posts:
Hillfarmer · 17/07/2016 14:46

Is the flat rented in his name as well as yours? If not, you can just tell him to leave and he has to bloody well go or you call the police.

Have a great weekend.

Shizzlestix · 17/07/2016 20:14

You're married? Getting him out of the flat may not be so easy as its classed as the marital home. Speak to your landlord and ask to be released from the tenancy and get yourself out.

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