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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Me and my mum (long sorry)

5 replies

Northerner · 04/06/2004 16:47

My Mum is 55, I am an only child and she adores me and my ds. When I was 18 I left home to live in the town I live in now. This left her devastated, and I still feel guilty now that we are not close enough to pop around for a chat. After nearly 10 years she still crys and say she misses me and ds and wishes we were nearer. She has always been prone to depression but never really seen anyone about it. She's had a few illnesses just latley, which make her feel even more weepy. She doesn't have, and has never had a close female friend to offload on so it is me taht get's the brunt of her problems. Last night I'd just got in from work and she rang crying. She expects me to ring her every day, and gets upset if I'm busy or have other things to do.

She has never had a job all of her life, and frabkly has no self confidence and seems really old and dependant before her time. My Dad on the other hand works part time and is very active in local politics as a counciller so he is always busy and Mum is often home alone. She is also in the midst of a family feud and her Mother and 5 sisters barely talk to her.

I know she has had her problems, but alot of the time I feel she walows in self pity and it's always down to me tp oick her up again and frankly I'm sick of it.

I do love her dearly, but don't know how I can help her.

This is my longest post ever, but feel better for writhing this.

TIA

OP posts:
Northerner · 04/06/2004 17:00

Am going home now but will check this tommorrow in internet cafe.

OP posts:
lemonice · 04/06/2004 17:05

I want to write something but haven't time will try to get back to it Monday but i expect some others will have posted.

Jimjams · 04/06/2004 17:14

Sounds like my MIL. She lays a big guilt trip on her children as both have moved away. it doesn't cut ice with either me or dh anymore though- we would love ds1 to be able to live independently one day and he probably won't be able to- so we've told her that.

Like your mum (same sort of age) my MIL hasn't worked for years. Her whole life revolves around my FIL and I think she is depressed.

Unfortunately I hsave no advice to give. DH and I are stressed up to the eyeballs and haven't got time for it tbh.

I do think that in my MILs case she won't change unless she makes a decision to though, and I can't see that happening.

essbee · 04/06/2004 18:22

Message withdrawn

Northerner · 09/06/2004 09:22

Just got chance to read this again. Thanks guys.

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