My friend thinks i fancy her husband

[PinkBallerina]

I don't. Infact if i wasn't married and neither was he i wouldn't date him. Physically he is not my type. But he is a lovely guy and we chat quite a bit because he does the school runs and i am the only mum he chats to at the school gates (his choice not mine).

My friend once asked me, when we were discussing problems with her marriage, if i thought her DH was attractive. I didn't know what to say so said the default, yes. But the question was more whether "is he a total loser or is there anything good about him, he is attractive right?"

Yesterday at a bbq pool party a friend of hers made a comment about me having the hots for my friends DH. At the time he was wearing his swim shorts, not that i cared, but i get the impression that friend's friend thought it was a 'moment' for me, seeing him in his swim shorts. This combined with a few other comments friend made a while ago has confirmed my belief that friend and her DH think i fancy him.

How do i put a stop to this without making anyone feel uncomfortable or offending anyone?

Some women are very threatened if their husband talks with another woman on the school run. I'm not, my husband was a SAHD for a few days a week with one of mine, and had lots of female friends he met at the school gate, and went round for coffee and so forth. But I have been on the receiving end of 'evils' from two women over the years who both have nice looking husbands who are friendly, and have really taken against me making the mildest of polite conversation.

The thing is, perhaps her husband is quite attractive, but you can hardly stop people thinking your husband is hot stuff anyway.

Sensible people just don't engage with this stuff, be polite, chat if he chats but just move on in a breezy way, as others have said, their drama is their thing, leave them to it.

How ridiculous!

I'd distance myself from the both of them. Very childish.

carabos genious. Next time they try to embarass you by suggesting that you are getting off on the sight of her DH in shorts or something similar.....PLEASE repeat carabos's post! Failing that say, "He's an attractive man, but I'm not 14".

genius even clearly I'm not

embarrass ffs I need to go back to school

Thanks all. Just found out they will be at another bbq this weekend so now i am armed with something to say. Thank you

Honestly, I'd probably skip the barbecue. This all sounds very tittering-in-the-back-of-the-classroom stuff and while the DH may be perfectly well-meaning and unaware of all this psychodrama, I wouldn't be crazy about attending an event where a group of people were scrutinising my behaviour for signs I was contemplating an affair with some blameless doofus on the school run. Who needs that kind of drama over burnt burgers? Is either friendship - with him or her - important enough to you to deal with it upfront?

I've been in situations like this - and didn't say anything because I was shocked/mortified.

I wish I'd said something - something absolutely to the point: 'no, I don't fancy him at all and never have'.

Don't dither, say it straight. As soon as possible to nip this in the bud.

What what does your DH say? Tell him and get him to back you up!