Help - getting in touch with my father's family - terrified of rejection

[mummytosteven]

Hi all - I wonder if anyone could help. I never knew my father - he split up with mum around/before she found out she was pregnant (they weren't married), and have never had any contact with him or his family. My mother has told me that he died when I was ten. I know his parents' names, and the street his parents live on.

Since I had my ds three months ago, I would like some more information about my father - at the very least if there is any medical information that may be useful, and ideally a photograph of him. I would be delighted if my father's family wanted to meet me, but do not expect this to be the case.

I am scared of approaching them directly, and wonder if anyone knows of any appropriate family mediation type organisation that could assist me (not the Salvation Army) I checked their web sites and they will not assist with tracing/contacting fathers where the parents were not married.

Hope someone can help!
Love
Laura

I'm not sure who you could contact to help, but I bet someone on here will know of some kind of organisation. Just wanted to say I hope it all goes well and dont be too disapoointed if it goes wrong. Just give it your best shot and if they dont want to know, its their loss. Good |Luck xxx

try www.ukpeoplefinder.com or www.pro.gov.uk or www.salvationarmy.org.uk/en/Departments/FamilyTracing/Home.htm My family wouldnt let me see my father. (Long and sad story) I wish you all the luck in the world. Dont fear rejection.....you dont know unless you try do you? You have nothing to lose do you? Maybe I could help you? Good luck

ps my father died when i was 14 i found out on the weekend i was supposed to see him for the first time in 9 years.....he has been gone for 9 years now and i miss him even though i never knew him.......there is such a blank space........i dont know the first thing about him........i have yet to trace the rest of his family. ( i know his parents are dead)

Hi everyone.
I posted about this quite a while ago.
My Grandfather (Dad's side) left my Grandmother when the war was over, and went back to America, never to be seen again. (My Dad was 3 when he left.)
This left a huge void in my Dads life. something that always affected him.
When i got my first computer, about two Years ago, i decidd to try and trace him, i asked my Dad if it was OK first.
To cut a long story short, i did trace him, but found out he had sadly passed away a few Years earlier. But we did find out my Dad had a half Brother and Sister, who we are now in regular contact with.
It has made a HUGE difference to my Dads life. He is like a different person in some respects. And even though he never met his father, he now has pictures, stories, and feels as if the gaps have been filled in his life.
I would say go for it!!! Expect the worse, and anything better is a plus!!

Thank you everyone who replied. I had a look at the people finder web site, and was quite impressed, so will probably try to use them (just need to have a further think about it /procrastinating!). I shall keep you all updated as to what happens next

We traced my dh's birth mum a couple of years ago using a brill woman in Oxford. She's really lovely and will act as a mediator for initial contact etc. I can supply details if you're interested. I think she charged £100.

It might be worth checking the genesconnected website - a few weeks ago I found my dad on there (he left when I was 4 and I never saw or heard from him since). I sent him a brief message and we are now in email contact and have chatted on MSN a couple of times. I'm taking it very slowly, but it's going well and he has given me loads of info about my paternal ancestry (about which I knew nothing before) and is scanning lots of family photos and emailing them to me.

I actually tracked him down on the internet a few years ago, but didn't feel ready to contact him then. My uncle rang him up on my behalf at that time, so I knew that he was willing to be in some sort of contact with me.

I can totally understand your fears - use of some sort of intermediary is a good idea I think as rejection could be very painful. I really understand your desire to have more information about your dad, I felt very much the same, and now that I am finding out about him and that side of my family I do feel a sense that a void is being filled in my life.

Good luck and let us know how you get on XXX

sorry, it's genesreunited.co.uk - but the link works anyway!