I've posted a few times about my marriage breakdown but quick recap goes- back in late March/early April STBXH started going out a lot- pretty much every night, sometimes straight from work without so much as a word about it, was staying out late, wasn't taking his keys with him which left me in the quandary of staying up waiting for him to get back or locking him out and dealing with the subsequent fall out. I questioned him about this sudden change in behaviour a few times and was told it was merely that there were a lot of "events"close together and that was all.
One night when he'd not taken keys I stayed up and confronted him about it yet again and he told me he no longer loves me or even cares about me and that was why he was going out all the time- because he couldn't stand to be in the same house as me.
Apparently he's felt this way for a number of years but had been pretending to be happy and I was at fault for not realising his true feelings.
I suggested counselling- he said no
he wanted out.
He then refused to leave. He was an absolute dixkhead to me for two months until he finally left 3 weeks ago.
Since then he's barely seen our kids. He picks them up from school 3 days a week and drops them home and that's it. He did come over on Father's Day because our eldest wanted to make him lunch and he has hung around for a bit on a few evenings after the school run- helping himself to food and drink which really winds me up.
The thing is I feel he should be making more of an effort with the kids- they're 8 and 2. He thinks the school runs and a few minutes after is enough, I don't think it's quality time as he's on his phone texting for most of it.
I brought this up with him last night along with the fact that I have all the proof of the existence of another woman I need-several very long late night phone calls to an ex-colleague- which is, I suspect, the real reason behind him leaving and why he doesn't have the time for the kids.
He threatened to call social services on me because I'm clearly crazy and also said he'd smash up my phone the next time he's round if I have anything to do with him on it- I know about the phone calls because I accessed his phone bill online (I'm the registered keeper of the phone account so I wasn't doing anything illegal). He says in mentally unhinged and he worries for the children's safety around me.
I'm not proud of myself for looking at the phone bill, I knew I was being lied to and I needed the proof- now I have it, even with him denying everything still, it's easier to get my head and heart in line.
I just want him to stop being a dick, to see that 10-15 minutes of just being with the kids, not interacting with them, is not good enough.
I know it is him who will lose out in the long run but I don't want my kids too suffer in the meantime.
Just venting a bit- no need to reply!