After 15 years of marriage dh is moving out.

[longwaytogoandabitfurther]

can't believe that it has come to this. Its been a difficult 18 months and now we have both decided that he needs to move out. We are waiting for relate sessions and if we work it out through relate then all well and good.

But if he stays then we are going to end up hating each other.

He's exploding at teh girls all the time and I just don't know if moving out is the best thing for the children or whether its best that he stays. But his behaviour is doing my head in.

I know he's got a lot to sort out within himself and I hope he finds the person that he is, and when he does I hope I will like him and he will like himslef.

I just hope we are not damaging the children more by him moving out.

I just so confused, but know that this is the best thing for the time being if only to give us a bit of head space and to help us see if we can live without each other or whether its just pie in the sky nonsense.

I've got to go to work today and haven't stopped crying for the last hour. This is so unfair and I never thought I would be a single parent.

Where did it all go wrong? This is so unfair.

No advice or experience longway, but didn't want your post to go unnoticed. Someone will be along soon to help I'm sure.

big hugs,so sorry your going through this. Things will get better,
my dh left in nov after ten years and I was devistated. But Im so much happier now, you almost need the break and space to see how you really feel. In my case the biggest feeling along with many other's was relief!
Try to take each day at a time, and remember that kids are happy when you are, they really are much more adaptable than we think.
Anyway just wanted to offer my support, take a deep breath and take little steps.
(((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))
and above all look after you!

I threw my X out after discovering his affair and after 15 years. My life is happier, better and more fulfilled than ever before. He was a violent and emotionally abusive man. It has taken over a year and really whilst I would not have thought it is the best thing that has ever happened to both me and my kids. You cannot live with someone who damages you and shouts at your girls all the time it is impossible and they will be fine honestly. Do loads of crying and being upset it does get better honestly but you need to grieve.

Longway, you are putting everyone else first in your post, which just goes to how what a good person you are. Take care, and don't forget to look after yourself while you are all going through this.

I'm going through a very similar thing with DH at the moment after 13 years together and even though it killed me when he first moved out, we are also currently waiting for Relate, and as time passes I'm beginning to wonder if it's actually better now we're apart.

Only time will tell what's meant to be, and for me I will give it everything I can and see what happens via Relate - but I'm starting to realise now that I WILL be happy no matter what, and as long as I'm happy then DS will be too.

I hope that it will soon be the same for you too - you seem to know you're doing the right thing so just take it one day at a time. After 15 years there may be lots of little things you both need to address and put right - but if you love each other and it's meant to be, then it will all work out in the end.
And you sound like a lovely person so whatever happens I'm sure there will be lots of happiness just around the corner for you xx

I'm begining to wonder if I knwo what happiness is tbh.

There have been and are so many issues that need unraveling and even when we do I don't knwo if I will ever trust him again. Its just not fair any of it.

He's gone out to see if he can find somewher to live.

im sorry that its come to this, but i ultimately think that the space to think is what you both need..also, it will harm your dc';s much more tbh if you stay together but are obviously unhappy.

Longwaytogo, was it your dh who was addicted to prescription drugs? Sorry if it is not...

So sorry longwaytogo

I think that perhaps we might be at the beginning of that road but I'm not sure. And Hoping not.

mellow yes it was my dh

For what it is worth.... I think you may be doing the right thing... he needs space (away from hurting you and dc) to get himself clean..

Coming off these tablets and even him being on them will be affecting his moods a great deal, he will ne nice one minute, depressed the next, angry the next...its so hard for you to be living with him when he is going through all this and very unfair on you and your dc.

Once he does move away, perhaps he will realise what he has and this can push him to get off the tablets...he may get clean, come back and be the man you fell in love with, without the anger and explosions..!!

I do hope it works out for you.

doesn't look like he's going anywhere - can't afford it.

Is he stopping the tablets atm or still taking them?

Are you okay?? Its an emotional rollercoaster living with someone with a dependancy.

Sweetheart. . So sorry - I know you've been hanging on in there for a while now. Will say a prayer for you. xxx