Why do men think they can do this?

[user1467042399]

There is a guy who had my number from years ago when he bought something from me.
I have known him since school (we are 28 now)
He lives near me so see him all the time.
No way ever even if I was single would I go there.
I told him nicely I have a bf and he wasn't my type but he would still message me.
He would say things like "let's have a pj party" " but oops I don't wear pjs" "give me a try"
Then message me "what you doing" etc.
None of these messages I would reply to so eventually I just blocked him.
He then found me on snap chat (don't know how to block on there)
So he sends me a pic of him in bed lying in his boxers(pj party soon) then message after message "you doing"
"What you scared of"
I do not like you!!! He looks about 13 too.
Then to top it off .." Come over,come in my room,my mum doesn't mind...he's 28.
Why do men think they can say this and a woman will say ok Come over.
What happened to dates?and winning a woman over?

I agree with knocking on his door and telling his mum what he's up to.
Then carrying on the ignoring

Just managed to block him on snapchat so that should be the end of it

Seems to be a lot of men out there who think they can use women for sex.

They will only think that if you allow them to, maybe you inviting him into your house and offering him a cold drink did lead him on, that's something I wouldn't do, I would have just said thanks.

Sadly OP, it happens.

OP - why don't you go and change your username, so that you can have a more individual name, rather than the anodyne one MN assigned to you when you first joined? That way you're more likely to be taken seriously and you won't risk people thinking you're a troll.

Go to My Mumsnet and change your name there.

Yeah I'm going to change it sick of being user14 etc ha ha

There was 1 time I was struggling with my shopping and he helped me.
He came in and I said thanks it was a warm day so I offered him a cold drink
Maybe that led him on

No, that wasn't leading him on. It was offering him a cold drink. It's his problem if he assumes it meant any more than that.

You are allowed to say no. If he doesn't respect that, he's harassing you.

Next time he contacts you tell him, "I am not interested in any sort of relationship or friendship with you. Do not contact me again." Then block his phone number, block him on social media, block him everywhere. If he continues to try to make contact, document everything: take screenshots, everything. And take those screenshots to the police.

Or you could take them round to his house and show his mum, and tell her you'll call the police next time he contacts you. That might work too. But mostly, don't interact with him, don't respond, don't talk to him if you bump into him. Tell him, clearly, you don't want to see him. He might not be willing to listen, but that isn't your problem.

And I would add that you can't reason with unreasonable people.

He's intruding on your life and harassing you. There are laws about that. A cease and desist letter from a local solicitor will usually do the trick. You have rights too you know and at fifty quid a pop or similar, it would be money well spent.

Is this your experience with all men? If so I'd be wondering why.

These aren't the actions of well developed individual and I think his autism is very relevant.

Never in my 40 odd years have I heard a man talk about a PJ party. not once

Doesn't it strike you as odd that he would ?

He would say things like "let's have a pj party" " but oops I don't wear pjs" "give me a try"

And the lounging in bed in only his pants.

Maybe OP hasn't blocked him for the sheer comedy value, that kind of nonsense would have me in stitches.

Is this your experience with all men? If so I'd be wondering why.

You wouldn't be indulging in a bit of victim-blaming there, would you, Sandy?

Is this your experience with all men? If so I'd be wondering why.

I'm with BIWI on this, it may not the OP's fault. I seem to have these people crop up too OP. One guy, I went to school with. He was sweet enough and every few months he messages me on FB saying 'hello' .. then 'hello' 3 months later and repeat. Sometimes he says about going for a drink. I just ignore him tbh. I don't want to delete him as I wouldn't say it bothers me as such. I do nothing to lead him on, just some men are over friendly I guess and try their luck?

In your case though OP, blocking seems the best course of action maybe we're too nice and need to be firmer with these stalkers