Have been very good friends with someone I met through work for 7 years now. I'll call her X. We were very very close and she was going to be present at DS birth as a suppport to DH and I. However, despite coming to all of out antental classes etc, as it happened, the only day she left the country in all of 9 months was the day I gave birth.
Soon after the birth she moved to another city but we stayed in close touch. We then decided we needed to move somewhere quieter so after much wondering and debate, X suggested we move closer to her. She started calling us about local available properties and offered to view places for us if we couldn't get there because of the baby etc. Eventually we found somewhere and moved into the same city a year later.
Almost as soon as we moved she changed. I was hoping we would meet fairly regularly, once a week or so, and she also had seemed enthusiastic about this. But it just never happened. During this time I became very depressed and lonely, and was more than a bit miserable. It was very hard starting again with DS, also working in a very stressful job, with no friends or anyone for support. I had really hoped she would be more supportive.
A few months later, X had some health problems, and I helped her as much as possible, answering questions, taking worried phonecalls, immediately replying to panicky emails and interpreting test results etc. Just before she had the all-clear we had a night out and she was re-evaluating her whole life and we talked about lots of things. The next day though I got an email to say she regretted discussing such things with me (relationship stuff mainly), as really she should have talked to her DP about it first. I replied saying that women talk about a lot of things on a night out and that was all it was, talking. I said I was glad she talked to her DP and hoped things would work out. At this point, things weren't going so great for me either and eventually got so bad that my relationship with DH nearly broke down because of all the stress we felt under. Luckily we had counselling and sorted things out. We are now very happy again, thank goodness.
Basically after that night we never really properly talked again. We moved out of the city after 6 months. I then got a lot of emails from X saying she hoped we were happy, and apologising for her lack of support when we were living close by and she still hoped we could be good friends. TBH I felt really angry with her at first, but did stay in contact because i love her and miss her friendship so much. That was this time last year. We had quite a lot of contact over the last year, but it eventually got more and more sporadic. I sent an christmas card and didn't get one back and also a birthday card, again, nothing. No email to say happy new year or anything.
Now it is 2007. Do I continue to try and salvage what was a really great friendship, or do I just let this one go? I wonder all the time about how she is and what she is doing. Would I be wasting my time in contacting her again? Is this friendship well and truly over? What went wrong? I feel so sad about it.