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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Partner from first OLD date?

23 replies

Saltanshake · 02/07/2016 08:19

Has anyone ended up with the first person they've met on line dating? Most people I know have been at it along time before they meet someone, but I've just started only had two dates and the first one has really clicked with me we get on like a house on fire. I have a couple of reservations in that he's in a vulnerable position emotionally due to some unresolved issues he's working on and also not good financial position but is attempting to start his own business.

My own life and past is incredibly complicated and I have quite a lot going on myself so I don't really have any judgement about that, but I do want to keep myself safe.

Is my head in the clouds to think you may meet someone that's right for you on your first date?

OP posts:

Savagebeauty · 02/07/2016 08:23

I would be very wary of someone in both a vulnerable emotional AND financial position.

Only1scoop · 02/07/2016 08:27

My friend married her first ever OLD

I think it's really unusual though.

Oysterbabe · 02/07/2016 08:28

Have some more dates and see how things go but seriously

he's in a vulnerable position emotionally due to some unresolved issues he's working on and also not good financial position

I wouldn't stick just yet. This alone would probably mean no second date for me, but then I've been on a million OLDs and am pretty ruthless.

DorindaJ · 02/07/2016 08:31

You've only been seeing them a short while, you don't really know much about them, but the initial signs are good, ie you both like each other and get on. But that is a long way from knowing someone. I would say slow down your emotional investing. It's too soon to know what the outcome will be.

I hope it does work out, but try and make yourself go slowly.

StylishDuck · 02/07/2016 08:33

I'm married to my first (and only) OLD. It definitely happens.

I wouldn't immediately discount someone with emotional and financial issues but I'd be wary of getting too involved until you know him better.

StylishDuck · 02/07/2016 08:33

Only1scoop...are you my friend...?

fusspot66 · 02/07/2016 08:35

I married mine.

Hotandcold2016 · 02/07/2016 08:35

I clicked with the very first person who contacted me on the first night I signed up for online dating. That was four years ago and we are still together!

PaintedDrivesAndPolishedGrass · 02/07/2016 08:40

I did, paid for 3 months membership was there for 1 day😀 he was the first and only person I contacted, been together 2 years. The Universe was looking after me and still is.

Tearsoffrustration · 02/07/2016 08:41

Me! 1 and a half years later we're planning on moving in together

2nds · 02/07/2016 08:42

I live with and have kids with my very last online date.
When I first met him we got on like a house on fire (still do) but I ended up working overrime to help him pay his rent and buy food for months as he was so skint even though he was working. Fast forward to now and I'm a sahm and he brings home 40k a year and I 100% believe in 5 years he will be a company director.

When I was doing overtime so that he wouldn't get chucked out of his house I just knew people would have asked me if I'd lost the plot so I didn't tell anyone that he was skint.

Imfinehowareyou · 02/07/2016 08:48

Yes, me. Now coming up to a decade together, married with two DC.

LadyFarnborough · 02/07/2016 08:58

My partner is! I was his first ever OLD and the first one he'd even communicated with. And he signed up on a special deal so got me for the bargain price of £1
I think the emotional and financial issues would make me a little cautious though OP.

SianiMoomin · 02/07/2016 09:00

I married my second OLD! It does happen.

However I would be wary if he's vulnerable emotionally AND financially...

littlewoollypervert · 02/07/2016 09:07

I'm seeing my first OLD for date 6 tonight. He's luverly and I'm heading for being a smitten kitten but I've another one lined up for Mon night just for comparison purposes - I've been out of the game for so long I don't trust my judgement anymore. I'm still pinching myself though as I thought I'd have to sift through piles of weirdos just to find someone normal, let alone find someone I fancy first go!

NoraLouca · 02/07/2016 09:22

I've been with my first ever OLD for just over a year now. I knew I liked him from the first time we met (half an hour for drinks after work) and I remember by the time I got home he'd sent a text saying he wanted to meet up again. He is lovely and I love him but I do think I was very lucky (as was he, of course .)

Original poster

Saltanshake · 02/07/2016 09:31

Wow thanks everyone, it definitely happens then. Yes I am definitely wary of these issues. He has been very transparent about them and the emotional stuff is kind of his own not with anything to do with relationships and he's definitely not asking me to support him with it in anyway.

The financial situation is actually partly what's attracting me too me as he's found a passion and is being very driven in perusing his dream, which I admire.

But I definitely not thinking he's the one now but I'm looking for warning signs that it may be not real.

Can I ask at what stage people took stopped chatting to and meeting others from on line? When did you have the exclusivity chat?

OP posts:

Original poster

Saltanshake · 02/07/2016 11:38

Only just read your post properly 2nds gosh that took a leap of faith! So glad it worked out so well for you.

OP posts:

Trills · 02/07/2016 12:02

I think you should look around a bit more.

Mintychoc1 · 02/07/2016 12:50

I signed up to OLD and on my first evening on-line I chatted to 2 men. Man 2 wasn't available to meet for a couple of weeks, so in the meantime I met the Man 1 and we got on really well. Man 2 stopped messaging anyway, which made it easier, as I never had to tell him I'd met someone else. I'm still seeing Man 1 now, 3 months later, and it's going really well. We both stopped looking at the OLD site after a week, and had the "exclusivity chat" after 3 weeks.

Mintychoc1 · 02/07/2016 12:51

I think if there are issues you're uneasy about then don't ignore them. But if you meet someone you're happy with then I don't see the point in relentlessly dating other people just for the sake of it.

Colourmylife1 · 02/07/2016 19:55

My friend has been together a year with the first woman he met online. It was her first online date too. They chatted for a week or two before meeting up. They are both very loved up and talking of living together/marriage.

Comeonmommy · 02/07/2016 20:01

I met the love of my life on line and it was with the first one I talked to too. He had a child and was going through a divorce but that was perfect cos I too had a child and going through a divorce. Keep your wits about you. True love exists and it can hit at any time. Take care with any worries but talk to him. Me and dh were both struggling financially but together we are in a really good position. You can go slowly, give it a chance and see what happens? Good luck X

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