I am at the end of my tether and really don't know what way to turn. My wife of 9 yrs has over that time totally demoralised me, shredded my confidence and drives wedges between my family and me. She convinced me to move over 100 miles away from my parents and my 2 children from a previous marriage. Yet her parents are just around the corner along with her Ex and his new wife !!! Now i don't work as she has made that so difficult regarding our life and i have now resorted to being the cleaner, cook, house keeper and child minder to her Child (13yrs) from her previous marriage while she has become the bread winner. I feel like i exist only to clear her and her child's mess up, I want out but my biggest problem is that all the money i made from my house sale before we married and moved in together has been ploughed into the house we live in now, she bought no financials to this relationship. As i understand it if i leave i leave with just the shirt on my back as i understand it, whether right or wrong, that i cannot make her sell our house until her child is a non dependent or leaves full time education.
Also of late she has started to hit me, the odd thump, which is a new thing, i have asked her not to do this but it continues along with the odd pinch !
She will put her self on me when we are in bed, i do ask her to have a bit of consideration as i normally have a long day and when you are not using your brain you become tired, but she will persist until i give in, sometimes she has spent over 2 hours, until the early hours coerce me into having sex, i know what being raped feels like, and for a big strapping man that i am i cry inside that my life has become what it has.
Although she works, its not a trying job for her, she is middle management so spends most of her time on the phone chatting shit, i hear this often as she works from home 3 days a week and when she is here she expects me to supply her with tea all day, the odd snack, along with lunch and then prep dinner for all of us, clear up and pander around her obnoxious Son. Although i have been around this child for 9 yrs i have never had a connection with him, i feel my whole life has been manipulated to accommodate her and her child, the lies on why we should move to where we are i feel was a carpet of lies just so her son could be near his father and the lies that she wanted to be near her parents so she could lean on them for child care was also a complete crock of crap, in all the time we have lived here they are the last people she goes to for child care, it has always been put on me as apparently her job was always better than mine and i needed to be flexible .
She does absolutely nothing around the house, weekends gardening etc is all left to me yet she is so full of great ideas that when implemented are left to me to look after.
Her plans for the week are always last minute or should i say if i ask what is happening she can never tell me her schedule yet i know she knows what is happening so i can never plan anything. she disappears during the day when she works from home to get her nails / hair done or anything for her son, yet if i ask for her to just sit and eat lunch with me she always has something else happening, Sooo here i am yet another day sitting on my own, she has gone to the office today apparently and i'm sitting here with nowhere to really go, in this dull life, missing my parent and children, talking on the phone is not the same as being in their company, they know something is up as i am not my cheery self, Alas they have no idea for over 5 yrs i have been putting on a front for them but inside i am in knots.
Sorry for the long post but i have no idea what i am going to do, i am so sad, crying is now part of my day every day.