Grumpy DH - anyone else with one?

[wishitwasntlikethis]

When we're out with other people i often find myself feeling embarrassed or uncomfortable because of dh's snappiness with me or general grumpiness and quietness. The only time he's not like this is when we're with his parents. In fact we've both commented on how snappy HIS dad is to his mum. i'm sure my mum and sister must wonder why i'm with him in some ways as he seems so miserable with me most of the time - unless he's playing with our little boy (9 months) My mum has commented on how good he is with him. Dh is currently seeing a counsellor to discuss some anger issues he has and recognises (after the event) that he probably speaks to me rudely as he grew up with his dad doing the same to his mum. In alot of ways he's a great husband and father, but i nearly always come back from seeing other people with him feeling upset because of his behaviour. We have talked about it, but it doesn't change. Anyone else's dh/dp like this!?

Anyone not got one?

anyone else?

I didn't mean to be dismissive, btw. I think this is quite a common problem, although the extent of it obviously varies. The fact that your dh has an insight into why he speaks to you like that is, I'd say, a great step forward. It may be too early in the day for him to be actually changing his behaviour - could it be that at the moment he's still at the stage of recognising it, and feeling the emotions that go with it?

Bumping for you, anyway...

Has he had his general health checked? I know someone whose dh was v grumpy until he was diagnosed with, and treated for, a chronic illness which had been sapping his energy - he just always felt under the weather. It was a great relief to have it diagnosed. Chronic illnesses can also lead to depression, which in itself is worth bearing in mind.

My DH was like that. we have been together 12 years and married 4, and it was a constant struggle to begin with as I am not the type to let it go. It's stopped now and he's very kind and polite with me now in front of others, and if he lets it slip sometimes (if he's feeling a bit down or something) I remind him firmly that I don't want to be talked to like that or ignored.
I feel a bit mean now after what fauve said about chronic illnesses. But I'm sure it's not that (for my dh anyway). Sometimes men can't be bothered to make the effort and take it for granted that we're going to accept bad attitudes.

Fauve

Out of interest was was the chronic illness?