In a nutshell: separated 10 months ago (sold house, had to move and buy new place), finances split, children live predominantly with me (every other weekend with exH).
ExH found a glamorous new GF (43, never married, no children) within three months of separation. Very loved up: mini-breaks, flying her off on holidays, she basically lives with him except when he has the children etc etc. Has created a new, happy life for himself. DC have met her.
I do not want him back, but I am finding the speed at which he found a fabulous new life pretty hard to deal with, and his happiness like a twisting knife as I struggle to keep everything together for my DC and my own work and life.
There's an element of smugness to it all, and he even condescendingly told me that one day I too 'would find happiness' like he has - and that it will 'come completely unexpected'.
It's not as though I'm sat at home weeping. I am doing my very best to get out and find a new life (all the while trying to work and be a fab mother). I have ventured into online dating - and have had some fun there, but at 47 I'm not finding it fulfilling (lots of fellow divorcees with even bigger issues than my own, who only seemingly want a 'bedroom buddy' - to put it politely). It's also slow and complicated to even start a relationship when I have so little time free. I joked to a friend that other day that I would only ever find a happy relationship with someone when I'm in a care home.
I know it's not a 'happiness competition' between us, but I hate feeling as though I'm struggling and he's moved on so quickly to find his ideal life.
How do I get out of this jealous mindset? I feel, irrationally, that this is so very unfair that he is beyond happy - and I'm still just 'coping'.