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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Does she hate me? I'm really upset

53 replies

user1467042399 · 27/06/2016 16:55

Me and my friend have been friends for years but it always is me paying for coffee etc.
She wants me to text her first and start the conversation but if I don't she won't speak then wait a month and turn nasty calling me a bad person and sly.
I got sick of being the one having to text and text so I just thought stuff this and didn't bother.
It got to two months and her mum ( who I've been friends with ) deleted then blocked me on Facebook then my "friend" messaged saying what's your problem,why haven't you bothered speaking to me,just shows you who your friends are,you've changed etc etc.
So in my head I'm thinking but you haven't contacted me,yet I'm the "bad one "why should it be me.
It's like she thinks I should be licking her Arse and always chasing her...I'm done.
This isn't normal behaviour,I'm 30 and so is she.
I have so many friends and we just speak when we can and have something to say,there's never a issue of you text first or stupid things like that.
I just can't be bothered to keep this up.
So now we sorted it out,I said it's ridiculous,we had 3 days talking (obviously it was me texting) now it's been 1 week and she hasn't contacted me but she's blocked me on whatsapp and on Facebook writing " I'm always the one the good friend,getting walked all over"
I'm starting to think she isn't right in the head.
I've been a good friend to her,lent her money over the years( all together probably a couple of thousand) never got it back,babysit her dog,went food shopping for her mum.
She always plays the victim
Can anybody understand what's wrong with her?
My other friends just say block delete and forget about her.

OP posts:
whoopthereitis · 27/06/2016 20:51

I had a friend like this. She started off lovely, ended up fucking vile.

I noticed, bit by bit, that she was pushing the boundaries of our friendship. I should have said something but she would usually come to the house - I gave young DC.

In the end, she fell out with me after thinking I hadn't disclosed my latest meeting with love interest. I didn't get a chance, as she spike about herself for an hour before eventually asking about me. She is a vile bitch (and she uses me some $ too).

whoopthereitis · 27/06/2016 20:52

Sorry about the typos..

whoopthereitis · 27/06/2016 20:53

She and her mother are manipulating you.

Biggles398 · 27/06/2016 20:57

She's no friend.
No doubt she'll be back when she needs you for something!

dangerrabbit · 28/06/2016 06:12

Why are you friends with her? What is the point of this person? Why aren't you happy she doesn't want to be your friend?

longdiling · 28/06/2016 06:22

Abusive relationships can happen in friendships too. She's bullied and manipulated you and messed with your head. Time to Leave The Bitch.

228agreenend · 28/06/2016 06:42

Listen to your friends.

This friendship is very one way, you do the giving, her the taking. Move on from her, and don't feel guilty. Accept this friendship has come to end of its course. Try and ignore all her comments, even though they may be spiteful.

Kr1stina · 28/06/2016 06:47

When you say you are afraid of what she will do , what do you mean ?

LellyMcKelly · 28/06/2016 07:21

She's not worth the effort. Ditch her.

Original poster
user1467042399 · 28/06/2016 13:14

There was a instance a few years ago when we weren't speaking and the police knocked at the door,someone had gave them my details and said I had witnessed a child being abused in the city centre,I think she did this anonymous.
Another time she said a fake Facebook up and messaged my ex new gf pretending to be me and saying I had been sleeping with him,my ex got in touch with me very angrily obviously but it wasn't me.
I should of ended the friendship years ago but I've always been a bit worried what else she might do.

OP posts:
Original poster
user1467042399 · 28/06/2016 13:15

(There was no incident and I never seen anything and they checked cctv and nothing happened and I wasn't even in town at the time

OP posts:
sue51 · 28/06/2016 13:18

Walk away from her now. Don't try to understsnd her motives or out it down to any one cause, just ignore her.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 28/06/2016 13:19

Why on earth are you putting up with this? She is totally toxic!

Dollius01 · 28/06/2016 13:29

She sounds utterly deranged. Bin her, bin her fast...

HuskyLover1 · 28/06/2016 13:29

DUMP. She's sucking the life out of you!

MarthaElf · 28/06/2016 13:41

She sounds a pathetic user who is using you as a money pot. The sly comment makes her sound about ten. Get rid.

Original poster
user1467042399 · 28/06/2016 13:44

I'm going to thankyou
I'm just too soft at times

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 28/06/2016 14:52

Reindeer puts it perfectly!
Jeez she sounds like a cunt
Enough said.
Stop being so passive.
Get assertive and kick these kind of people out of your life for good.

ISpeakJive · 28/06/2016 16:49

Good grief, OP! She truly isn't right in the head. Please stay away from this creature as she sounds very unhinged.
You sound like a lovely person but you have done enough for this shit friend. Now focus on you and your other deserving friends.

springydaffs · 28/06/2016 17:58

She sounds like pure poison.

Honestly, when you think of her, think of a gremlin.

If also have a word with the police, citing the city centre /abuse incident; getting it on record you are concerned about what she may do next.

I mean it when I say she is a seriously toxic individual.

As cabrinha says, perhaps get some therapy/ do some courses to get your boundaries toughened up. Nobody can entirely avoid people like this but we can get our boundaries toughened so we walk earlier rather than later.

Prawnofthepatriarchy · 28/06/2016 18:11

Forget her. You deserve better from your friends. We all do.

I recently gave up on a long friendship. After years of not being much in touch, she came to stay for a week and was very, very hard work. She didn't like any of the plans I'd made, insulted me and was relentlessly critical. On the last morning I thought "You used to have a sense of humour but not any more." I thought I might be being too hard on her. So I spent the whole day trying to make her laugh. OK, I'm no great comic but she didn't crack one single smile.

I rang my dad (who knows her well) and said "She's a humourless cow and I don't think she even likes me" to which he replied "And how many years has it taken you to notice that?" And he laughed. And I did too. It was a relief.

So I wrote her off. Didn't say anything, just stopped communicating. Did me good. And I recommend you do the same with your greedy, needy so-called friend.

Original poster
user1467042399 · 30/06/2016 08:43

Thanks for all your advice.
My dad hates her and over the years (since 17) has told me he can see straight through her.
I just don't get how she can't see I've been a good friend,maybe I've been too nice

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 30/06/2016 08:48

maybe I've been too nice
Yes indeed you have.
You've been her doormat to walk all over and abuse.
Get stronger and walk away.

loobyloo1234 · 30/06/2016 09:02

As I get older, I realise who my true friends are. Don't sweat it OP. She sounds like a nightmare and a shit friend anyway Cut your losses and move on

HandyWoman · 30/06/2016 09:38

I didn't read last the bit where she calls you sly/a bad person.

Don't waste a second longer thinking about this non friend. Set yourself free...