Hi, I'm in an awkward situation. My child is friends with this woman's child, she's not my type at all but let me know one day that her partner was abusive towards her, police involved everything, she leaned on me and I allowed it as she was incredibly brave and strong to kick him out and mean it. It was a tough time, he left, she got through it and we saw each other several times a week. She didn't have other friends here, hadn't been allowed on social media as he was controlling, so I knew she needed somebody.
Meanwhile our kids got closer and are now best friends used to going round to each other's houses 2 or 3 times a week. It's like it's expected now for me to have the child over at least once or twice a week as the mum us always offering to have mine. But this is getting very, very old now. Not only can my other kids hardly ever have people over as I end up with a house full of kids, but this child is a very fussy eater, doesn't play just wants to be on video games, and usually ends up in another room separate from my kids
(so as not to drip feed, my child and their friend are both hf autistic so it's not quite as easy as just telling them to eat it or starve, or to do something else) also the child has no other friends over ever, if the child doesn't come to my house they are literally at home on the PC from morning til night. Eats meals there and everything, until 11pm at night. So I feel sorry for them, feel guilty if I don't extend an invitation twice a week.
The child swears regularly (ffs etc) often plays 18 games at home, and the mum lets the child watch horror movies. I have told her that my child is not allowed to watch or play anything 12 and over (they are 8!) she also smokes around them inside the house all the time.
Getting back to the mum she chainsmokes around the kids all the time, she doesn't care about other people (unwrapped a package of curtains in the Argos "showroom" to see the size, decided she didn't want them and chucked them and the plastic wrapping in a heap in the floor where you would queue up to pay - I was horrified and ended up folding them up and putting them in a shelf, who does that???)
And now the latest thing, racist comments, pictures of "bring back the golliwog" on Facebook. She's just so not for me! I don't like her and I've had enough, but here's the thing, our kids are best friends. I pass her house every day on the school run, she waits for me outside.
How do I get rid without huge awkwardness or ghosting her? I basically can't as I see her every day and the kids have a relationship. Help.