To cut a long story short, DH always wants me to do as he says/wants and if I don't then although he seems accepting of it he will then get into a foul mood or will kick off at me later about something small and I know this is just because I didn't do as he said. Or he says I have an attitude problem if I refuse to do as he says instantly.
I was at work all day Saturday (I work full time but my shifts vary and are odd hours), and DH had done nothing when I got home from work, not even put dirty plates in the dishwasher, and the kids had pretty much sorted themselves out all day. I didn't say anything as it wasn't worth the fall out and he ignores me anyway if I say something he doesn't like the sound of.
Then yesterday I had to take DS to a party, and it was a sports adventure type of party where parents had to stay to help their children. When we got back, DH had decided to clear out the garage, which was full of his rubbish anyway, and was sulky and moody with me because I hadn't stayed behind to help him. Then later in the day he got cross with me because the house was a mess even though it was messy because of his lack of doing anything the previous day. Even so, I spent ages tidying and cleaning to placate him.
What I'm trying to say is, I always end up doing what DH wants to appease him as otherwise I find the sulking and snappiness too much to deal with and I find it hard to ignore it. My dad has always controlled my mum and I don't want to end up like that :(
How can I disengage a bit, ignore moods and generally please myself a bit more?