As per thread title, I separated from exP a few months ago, have a DS (almost 4) and have ended up living with my parents. I didn't feel I could cope on my own and wanted a breathing space, to get some much needed counselling and sort myself out financially.
Unfortunately the situation with my family is complicated, my sister has also been living at home due to complex mental health issues and can't stand me being here, she appears to hate me actually and I feel utterly worn down by it.
Last night I reached my breaking point, she was outside my bedroom door (shared with DS who was not asleep) shouting at me that I am a bitch and a cunt and lots more. The other day she shouted and screamed at me also in front of DS.
My parents don't want to know, their hands are tied I guess as they can't exactly throw her out, she is a mess and needs them. But I feel so down and depressed, I find her abusive and even when there's no big 'drama' going on her default with me is hostility.
My parents (well my dad really) has been very abusive in the past, he's a lot better these days but not the easiest person to live with. I'm still trying to deal with the effects of all that though and I'm just struggling in general so much.
Told them about the incident last night and my dad was shouting and screaming, repeatedly called me a coward (don't know why, it's a standard line of his though), ungrateful and a shit bag.
I said I would move out and he shouted in my face to leave that night (with my son), I said I wouldn't but would leave in the morning (today).
My sister disappeared into her room with a knife saying she was going to kill herself, this was removed.
My dad said HE was going to kill himself and drove off, he'd been drinking, we called the police.
Basically I don't have a clue what's next. The last few years have been tough and I'm trying to figure out how to live in this world, I have anxiety and depression and I'm close to my parents while also feeling a lot of latent anger at past behaviour of which last night would have been a mild example.
Can't stand the fact that my DS is being affected by all this instability, he rarely if ever sees the 'dark' side of things but God knows what he heard or thought last night. Don't know if I'm strong enough to cope with whatever comes next, don't know if there's anything left to salvage in this family and I feel like the shittest person in the universe.
On a practical level I don't know what to do today, tomorrow. I'm just lost. Please help me see clearly and tell me what to do!