Being contacted by someone I know on dating site

[wonderstuff100]

He is single,his wife died. I twigged who he was last year when he popped up on my matches and since then when we pass each other dropping and collecting the kids off at after school/breakfast club,I thought we were avoiding speaking/eye contact due to us both seeing each other on this site.

NOW he messaged me last night having rejoined a few days ago,I go along thinking he knows it's me. Then he asks me how old my children are. When his son was at my son's birthday last week! The man came into my house,the pictures on my profile look like me,we've seen (and,I thought,purposefully,ignored each other weekly for the past year!),how can he possibly not know it's me!!

So is it that he genuinely doesn't know it's me,or is embarrassed and wants me to say it first?!

Answers on a postcard please!

"You know we know each other, right?"

That shouldn't be hard to say (type).

It's definitely him.

Can you say something like "how come you're never this chatty to my face/what would the boys say if they knew we were chatting" etc so making out you assume he does know, if you feel like it's gone past the stage where you can actually point it out.

The game playing would piss me off. But if you're enjoying it then I'd take it as far as you can and get outrageous.

Or ask about the one other person he has met with the same name as you

Ooooh yes! Do that! 'You know someone else with my name? Is she hot?'

I thought exactly what Mayhew said...get it over with and let the cat out the bag!

This sounds so childish.

Why not just say "John, it's me Jane Doe, Heather's mother from around the corner. "

What is the big deal and why "embarrassing" to see him on the site? OLD is pretty old-hat by now.

I am now just watching to see the outcome...

OP - aren't you now doing exactly the same as what he is doing to you? He's probably posting on Dadsnet with a similar thread

I suspect it's a weird kind of attempt at flirting. On both sides.

Oh I'm not denying this is weird. But I still can't ascertain whether he does recognise me or genuinely doesn't.

I think it may just fizzle out for now. I am going out later though so may just end up calling him out on it after so Jack Daniels.

It would drive me insane!! I like the suggestion of what did you think of the woman with the name followed by a wink ;)

Please drink lots of Jd and then report back :)

You'll know by his response to asking what he thinks of the person with your name.

If I'm right he's manoeuvred you into asking him that, so that he can tell you how much he likes you.

(I'm a born romantic though, who as a widow has a soft spot for widowers who are looking for love.)

What happens if I ask about the other "me" and he says I'm fat or ugly though!

Then I really couldn't look him in the eye next time!

Then you tell him you are not interested in anyone that talks about people like that, and look him in the eye with a cold hard stare next time you see him.

Then you know he's a twat and move on.

But come on, how could he not know it's you when he's now seen your name, your photo, your family details, and presumably that you live in the same area? I don't see how he can't. Especially with acknowledging knowing someone with your name!