huskylover I read your post and felt cross, I felt like it was a bit aggressive. Then I thought, maybe she has a point . Then I moved back into my normal, more comfortable with my me state.
So you see the thing is this. I have failed at marriage before, and I blamed myself, I was made to feel I was useless and rubbish, I had no email, no Facebook, I had given up all my friends. My dh out the responsibility for his happiness in my hands, I had to get him out of bed every or ing, if the kids were ill it was my fault .
T his man gave me my life back, I reclaimed the me I had been in my late teens with interests and good friends, my own email, I finally got Facebook and he gave me the space to be me and to do the things I love.
So no, I am not going to confront him, tell him he is lazy and loveless. No way.
What I did do last night was do a nice dinner, that we sat down to after the kids had gone to bed and chatted about our marriage, however important it is and that we are both having a busy period at the moment and we haven't been prioritising it. I suggested that we needed to make sure we remembered to both work at it in the busy seasons.
See I notice in life that you get out what you put in. If sulk and strop around, get sad, get aggressive and resentful then that comes back to me with my families attitude. If I, which is my week spot, have a low self esteem week, feel grumpy and self berating, I notice that has an impact too.
So if concentrate on just me and my happiness not what other people think and I make myself happy doing things I love. I notice my families attitudes change too.
I feel stacks better, becasue I focused on me. And that has rubbed of to a positive conversation not an accusatory one, not an argument, no defensiveness. Just how to we make our marriage better.