This is long sorry haven't posted before but always hover the aibu boards.
I'm in complete and utter shock and maybe because I feel so embarrassed I can't tell anybody in real life because I think if I start crying I will never stop.
Been in a relationship for 4 years have a 2 year old daughter together lived together just over 3.
Saturday was my daughters 2nd birthday arranged a party at the house nothing major just family a couple of friends a bit of cake. Morning of party making sandwiches etc partners mum sister step mum my mum all in the kitchen. He comes downstairs and moans about the mess then says I'm having a shower and going to my friends. I ignore his little tantrum as I can't be bothered (always does this when I'm giving someone else more attention) and leave him to it.
On his phone is Spotify which I was using to play music on the speakers. Recently he became more possessive of his phone and all of a sudden has a password and takes it to the toilet etc etc.
While in the shower it starts to ring through the speaker so I walk over to cut it off and it's a girls name no one id ever heard of before. My heart dropped into my belly and I felt myself turning purple. All of a sudden there was no longer a password so I pulled down the notification bar and oh my life it was like a can of worms.
I counted 24 girls conversations the majority of which he had collected through his weekly Friday nights out because I "stress him out" about 7 of which throughout the week saying what a nice time they had spending with him.
Over the past 3 months he has been out all the time "at his friends" doing driving jobs and other bullshit.
He came downstairs picked up the phone and knew I'd been through it I saw it on his face. I carried on making sandwiches etc he made his excuses and left.
I spent the whole day holding it together smiling pretending I was fine . He came back around 3 with his cousin almost like he was protecting himself from having to talk. It finally clicked in my head I have nothing to say I just want him gone.
He left that night and hasn't been back since part of me feels so relieved but another part of me is literally having to go running everytime I feel myself going to text him or call him and break down. I know I'll be fine but it just makes me think wtf has been happening and I didn't know I feel crazy . I feel so much better for releasing all this.