Aka my dad. He's having a full on hissy fit that my mum doesn't want him at her brother's funeral. My parents are very acrimoniously divorced (he won't accept that she hates him for leaving; maybe she should, but he's been told for 10 years that she won't) and he has seen recently deceased brother and his wife once in the last 10 years. They didn't recognise him on that occasion.
Dad has extensive form for throwing his toys out of the pram and we (siblings and I) have had to intervene on many occasions, even cutting contact with him for a while to get away from his unreasonableness. We will be summoned in due course for a pained and sanctimonious dressing down once he has managed to bring himself to work towards forgiving us for supporting mum and explaining that her grief trumps his entitlement to offer sympathy to people who don't care and won't notice his presence or absence.
There's no answer, I just need to vent