finally come to an end?

[abbb15]

Okay so long story short... Been with DP for 2 years, got an 11 month old son and home together. Throughout the 2 years he has cheated on me (nothing physical I know of) but chatting online, talking to exes etc. The first time I found him talking to women and video chatting them. Then it was a number hidden on his phone of a girl from work. Then it's been searching for naked pics etc. After that we split and then got back together for me to find pictures of his ex and other girls on his phone along with the fact he'd been calling her and speaking to her and god knows who else whilst at work then coming home to me and our son.

I know, I should of left from the first 'mistake' but I'm young and just wanted us to work so I tried to forgive him, and as the time passed it got harder and harder to leave.

Obviously he now feels he's able to walk all over me with an apology afterwards and everything will be okay no matter how many times he says that's not the case.

I've finally realised after these 2 years with everything that has happened that there isn't a future for us anymore, I do love him but I am unable to forgive and forget and am simply fed up of being sat at home crying being paranoid! Surely after all this in just 2 years he's never going to change, right?

I guess I'm posting this because I am scared of going down the single mom route. I'm only 20 and I know It's not going to be like this forever but, this isn't how I planned my life at all.

Any advice on how to get through this or anyone who's been through anything similar I'd appreciate so much!

I'm 23, a single mum and kick ass.

It is bloody hard. It is exhausting, emotionally and physically and mentally. There's days I want to run away and days I want to do nothing but cry. It gets incredibly lonely if you're like me and no proper support network.

BUT I don't regret it. I look and my dc, how happy and polite and lovely they've turned out and I feel damn proud. It is hard. But we're happy, we've got our own routine and when things get a bit much and you feel like the worlds judging there's nothing better than a movie night and cuddles.

You are a lot stronger than you think, a lot more capable and no life might not have turned out how you'd like but you can do it and you can find someone who will love you and will want to be with you, someone who will respect you enough not to cheat on you and make a mockery out of your relationship.

You deserve better quite frankly. He won't change, he'll keep doing it and you'll keep ending in tears and that's not the way to live. It might be hard in the short term but I promise it gets easier.

20! Drop him and live a happier life.