He's been sexting

[Springheeled]

I have discovered a few day's worth of sexting- we have been together more than a year. I feel like my world have turned upside down and I have lost my best friend.
Is there any way that I can forgive it and the relationship can survive?

I think I know its never going to work . . .

listen to your gut feeling and try to be strong oli . .I have been in that situation and I just knew that we weren't going to have a long and happy future. what did I do? I just coasted along and wasted another year of my precious life.

I know it's cliché . . .but life IS short. be brave, of course you can be on your own. you might even enjoy it!

What would be the "right" time to end it, oli ?

When you find him balls deep in OW ? Would you say you weren't strong enough then ? Every day you shave more off your self esteem by knowing you are clinging to an unfaithful man makes that scenario more likely.

I just convince myself this time round it'll be different. Trust me I know exactly how pathetic i sound, it's just a lot easier said than done. Times when I've found the strength to leave him he's not left my house or left me alone for 5 seconds, I even cut up all his clothes smashed his stuff up etc and he still never got the hint so I gave in. It definitely helps to write it down and hear other people say what I'm thinking, there's no way I can sugar coat it then!

There is never a good time to end a relationship, and as women, I think we generally squeeze every last bit of life out of it before we finally admit defeat.

Believe me though . . you will never look back on this part of your life and think 'im so glad I stuck around for all that time'

the longer you stay, the longer it will take you to rebuild your confidence.

sorry, but that's just in my experience.

OP . ... no kids, no marriage = no reason to waste your time and effort IMO.
If he's doing this after just one year, Lord help you a few years in.

People rarely stop these things,.they just get better at hiding it. He's shown you who he is - believe him.

Oli...you are making excuses. You know it, we know it. If you wanted to end your relationship you could.

olijdc I'd been married 32 years when it happened to me, so as you'll perhaps understand I'm coming at it from the other end

It all seemed too much to throw away, and since he insisted he felt the same I stuck with him - only to find that, once he felt he'd got away with it, he moved on to prostitutes, sneaked naked pics of me sent to other women and much, much more ... all of which is why he's now living with his mother

You're only a year in - please don't let this be you

How long does the shock take to die down?

It took a month for me I went through a full range of emotions for a long time but after about a month I started to get over the shock and recognise the warning signs I missed.

Op - the shock will wear off. You have been very strong blocking him - that must have been hard! Good for you though honesty what an entitled wank badger to think he could get away with that. Losing a possible future is awful but he sounds like a bullet dodged. It's no reflection on you and there's plenty of nicer men out there x

Cheeky to resurrect my own thread... I'm past shock and into devastation mode now.

I don't agree that it's inevitable sexting will lead to physical sex. Sounds like a mindless, grubby, porny type activity to me and the kind of thing a rather pathetic, immature loser of a bloke would be into.

I feel similar about it. What is hurting me is the misery and tension I'm feeling and I can't really articulate it; I'm not sure what to do. I thought the relationship was good.

Sorry you are going through this, been there, how did you meet ? I forgave and forgave, XDH has ow all over the place, just awful, it never stops so sorry to say

Puzzle, mine did the same, he then turned violent/ abusive , every time I found out, please OP, listen, it will be hard. Do you live with him by any chance ?

I fell pregnant five months into a relationship, a week after I got a positive pregnancy test I discovered that he'd been sexting someone he'd known for years before me. I forgave him because he promised he wouldn't do it again, and obviously because I was pregnant. I kept finding out he'd been doing it again, probably every two to three months, until I finally had enough. I don't know why some men do this when they're in an otherwise happy relationship - something to do with their self esteem may be? Must be an ego boost to string more than one woman along at a time.

A year in and he's already cheated! Massive red flag, ignore at your peril OP, he's showing you who he is and he's not to be trusted, it's a year, you can easily get over him, but, if you want to stick with him at least make him fight for you fgs, don't just sweep it under the carpet like so many women on here do for fear of being on their own, I mean, really, whatever happened to self respect - if he loves you he will move heaven and earth for you to stay with him, otherwise you are just pretending nothing happened - until the next time.

if he loves you he will move heaven and earth for you to stay with him, otherwise you are just pretending nothing happened - until the next time

Oh, how true - and even if he does make that effort it won't sweep away the future doubt. The wondering where he is when he's late ... the phone call that seems a bit questionable ... the colleague he appears just a little too friendly with and all the rest

These are the things which will chew you up if you stay - also why you have to decide if it's really worth the risk after a relatively short relationship

Sound advice

This happened to me recently and i too dont know what to do 😥

Raven, you really need to start your own thread. All that will happen now is that people will keep responding to the OP.