Hi ladies Not sure where to start.. Been with DH for 12yrs, married 7yrs - anniversary this Monday.. We are in late 30s with two young children <5yrs DH has never been good with managing money, took me a while to realise. We struggled financially at the beginning of our relationship, with me moving from abroad/starting career and him selling his business/unable to find something he would be happy with. So the subject of money was always blurred by some events. On average he builds 5-10grand debt every couple of years and then comes with a tail between his legs asking to do something to sort it out (last time we remortgaged, but We split excess cash and i took £3k out to keep it safe in my individual account. The reason I did it is that I knew otherwise money will disappear within weeks) Anyway, just to give you a perspective, we have joint account (massive mistake) but in last 6 months I made some significant changes to how our finances are managed - with pretty poor results though. I have calculated what is our joint spent and other individual commitments and decided to move surplus of my salary into my individual account. Since then I had to subsidise our joint account on 3-4 occasions as we were almost over. My DH each time promised that he will review what went wrong, but he then dismissed the topic and every time I prompted him to do it it finished in a massive argument and him calling me miserable and boring. Today was a final straw for me. We are on holidays abroad. He has loads of cash and says he saved up for hols, I drill where he got it from and he has a go at me that I should be grateful and say thank you that he thought of it. Today He is out with our DS and texts me - please move X money to joint account. I log in and realise that he literally paid almost 1k credit card bills from our joint in June without telling me. Btw I have cc which I pay from my individual account. Also £1k out to his account ("his holiday saving"). I am £400 short to pay childcare. I kept calm told him that we can't pay childcare and he replies he would sort it tonight and fix it all. When we meet late pm he does not want to talk about it. When I push he tells me to f.. Off and that he does not give a shit and to stop being boring (at that point I walk off). I ask to hold holiday budget from now on and he does not agree as I am too tight apparently.He would not put boys to bed, playing the card - you love doing it so much. Anyway I put boys to bed,, 10pm I want to take laptop to go through it, but he watches telly so I am not allowed. I ask him to do accounts as he promised, he says he is too tired. I ask him again, he ignores me.i know he will not do it tomorrow or day after. I take some cash, leave to room to go for a walk/bar, hesitant whether I should take some cigarettes with me, try to open the door and he grabs me violently telling me to leave the room key card (I only took it as I know he will not wake up to let me in). For him inconvenient as air con went off, so he is visibly angry with me. I pull away and run off. I can see on his face he is mad, I am scared. I am at the hotel reception now, I don't know what to do. I am so confused. I don't want to make any angry decisions but I feel the whole financial situation is not right and I resent him for lack of transparency, and lack of respect for me as a wife. He laughs that all is 50/50 - I could not agree more, but in fair relationship when each one respects the other attitude to money and decisions are made jointly. I feel pushed/bullied into some decisions. He told me today that this situation is absolutely normal - bollocks. Please tell me it's not..?? I want to tell his parents about it - we have a very good relationship, but he messes with my head saying that they have their own opinion of me, so I am worried they will not be supportive - although apart from his word there is nothing to say they would not. Where do I go next with this? Am I exaggerating? Sorry wifi is very bad here I may not be able to respond easily/quickly but I appreciate all your views/advice